Emily M. DeArdo

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post-transplant

What You do with Your Years (Anniversary Edition)?

transplantEmily DeArdo2 Comments

Battling Your Circumstances with Joy and Gratitude

Emily always said she was grateful for every additional day of her life that her double lung transplant back on July 11,2005 gave her. She wrote about it constantly, in fact, she wrote a whole book about it that was published in 2020.

Today would have been her 19th lung transplant anniversary, but since she has passed on from this life (and is completely healed praise the Lord!), we wanted to inspire you as a reader to think of how powerful her story really was and continues to be. She was not supposed to live to see 24 years old, but with her lung transplant, she far outlived her prognosis. And boy, did she live and love life! This blog entry from 2015 tells of all the moments Emily was so grateful to experience and witness with her extended lease on life. It’s important to also note that Emily’s donor Suzanne was very dear to her because she knew for one to live it meant one had to die and she never forgot to thank her and her family.

An image of Emily on the day she was being released to come home from the hospital post surgery.

If you’ve never seen this 5-minute video from Nationwide Children’s Hospital that covers and overview of her journey from diagnosis to receiving her double lungs transplant surgery, please take a moment to watch and hear about how pivotal this moment that brought hope was in her life.

Emily’s outlook on her diagnosis did not relegate her to living her life in a lesser way. In fact, it propelled her into pursuing things she was more passionate for (like writing her books and blogs) and enabled her to grow deeper in her relationship with Christ. She even wrote this article a little over a year ago talking about the blessings and hardships of transplant patients that is a transparent look through her perspective and the facts.

Text image that reads: We spend out. We don’t hoard our time or resources. We invest them in people, in loving others, and in community.

So the real question is, knowing we all have breath in our lungs today and the precious gift of life, how does God want you to live your years? Not many of us will go through a transplant like Emily did in our lifetime, but if you’ve accepted the gift of Salvation, then you’ve gotten a spiritual transplant.
Consider Romans 6:8-11 below:

8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. 11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

So what should we do with this renewed life on earth that extends into eternity? Maybe love our families and friends well and making the most of our time with them? Give generously of our time, talents, and treasures to others? Live each day like it’s our last on this earth and tell someone about His amazing gift of salvation? Or maybe all of the above? Everyone’s journey through life looks different, but the focus should always be on Christ and furthering His Kingdom through gratitude and love - something Emily did well.

Yearly Transplant Appointment Recap!

Emily DeArdo2 Comments

A little petit déjeuner after the first part of the day!

The Yearly Transplant Appointment Day is a LONG day, so it’s always a good idea to have some treats sprinkled in. :)

The first part of the day is testing, and the second is my doctor appointment. The first part looks like this:

—CT scan, just to see how things are going inside.

—Pulmonary Function Tests (PFTs). I do “regular” PFTs, called spirometry, every three months. These measure my lung capacity, among other things. But annually we do what’s called “full” PFTs, which means there are two other tests added on to spirometry.

—A six minute walk; this test measures stamina and how your pulse and oxygen saturation do while being active. You pick your own speed and walk along a pre-set track (usually a hallway) for six minutes.

—Blood work (also done every month).

So after the first part was done, Dad and I (dad is a good sport who came with me) had a little French snack before a trip to the yarn store for therapeutic yarn shopping, and lunch at 11:30 at a local restaurant.

Dad’s very cute strawberry basil lemonade at lunch.

Finally we headed over to the hospital, where my appointment is, and waited…and waited….and waited….

BUT I was finally seen. Doctor is pleased with all things!

My PFTs went up four points which is really amazing, because my PFTs don’t generally go up—go my workout program, go (more on this in the next post) ! My six minute walk results were also right smack in the normal range. There’s a “low normal” and a “high normal” and I was right in the middle, which is great (this is for everyone, by the way—it’s not a special transplant range. It’s normal person range.). Labs also look very normal.

So all in all, a good appointment with good results! Yay!

Eighteen

CF, essays, family, journal, transplantEmily DeArdoComment

This is a photo of me and my godson, Ryan. (He’s also my cousin.)

I was fifteen when he was born. When I received my transplant, he was seven years old.

I loved him insanely. I kept his photos in my locker, and my friend Amilia remembers that we used to call him “baby.” (I still love him insanely, don’t get me wrong. The insanity of love does’t wane.)

He’s 25 now. He works in Pittsburgh and has a degree in economics. He’s learning Japanese.

When I was on the list, when I thought I might not get to see him grow up, one of the things I wrote during that time was a letter to him—things I wanted him to know.

Fortunately he never received that letter, because I did get to see him grow up. I saw him lose teeth, make his first communion, heard his voice break and his body shoot up in height, and I went to his high school graduation party and I know him as an adult.

Patty is three years old. When I had my transplant, her mother (my cousin) wasn’t even married. Neither were my siblings.

My nieces—sweet Madeleine and Hailey—weren’t even possibilities at that point.

Melanie and Madeleine (aka, Maddie, Baby Bear, Sweetheart, Baby Maddie….)

Bryan and Hailey (aka, Hails, Hailey Bug, Baby Bear, Munchkin, Baby Girl…)

Cheering on her favorite baseball player with Mommy!

There are so many gifts. So many things I didn’t even think of when I was twenty-three.

So many things I would have missed.

For some reason, I didn’t miss them. I got to experience them.

“I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”


Please consider becoming an organ donor, so that more families like mine can be blessed.

Also, my annual signed book sale is on! Get a signed copy of my book, a specially designed bookmark and prayer card, and free shipping, for $15! Email me with your address.













I'm In Public Discourse! (And a sale!)

essays, CF, organ donation, writingEmily DeArdo1 Comment

I’m very excited to share that an essay of mine has been published in Public Discourse!

This is my first journal piece, and I’m very excited about it. In it I talk about how transplants work, the gift of more time, and (yes, of course) memento mori!

Let me know what you think!

And speaking of the book…

The Ave Maria Press Memorial Day sale is here! Through Monday, use the code REMEMBER23 for 25% off and free shipping. This is a great time to pick up a copy of Living Memento Mori (or get gifts for people!)

I hope you have a great Memorial Day weekend!

New port is in!

CF, healthEmily DeArdoComment

Hospital lobby at 6:45 AM :)

The port is dead, long live the port!

So last Thursday I had my old port—17 years, RIP!—taken out, and a new POWER PORT put in! (Power ports enable me to get things like contrast for CT scans through my port instead of trying to find a vein for that. They’re GOOD!)

This was a sort of complicated thing, because it involved both sides of my chest. I wasn’t sure where they’d put the new port, and the doctors decided to put it on my right side. So they had to take out the old port—which was buried pretty well, because I weighed ninety pounds when it was put in!—and then put in the new port on the right side, which apparently is the “preferred side” for port placement. Whatever!

This wasn’t done in an OR or under general anesthesia, like my first one was. This was “twilight sedation”, which is what I get for my bronchoscopies—you’re sedated, but you can still talk and respond to commands. I don’t remember anything from the actual procedure. They apparently had to give me more sedation than they thought, probably for two reasons: one, they had to go int through my neck to place the new port and I HATE having my neck messed with, and two, my face was covered by the surgical drape, and I don’t like that either. I was sort of freaking out about that when I fell asleep, so I’ not surprised my subconscious was still freaking out.

(It’s weird. I don’t mind masks and things on my face—like aerosol or oxygen masks. But if I’m flat on my back I hate it. I don’t know why. It’s a thing!)

Anyway, we were home by lunch time. The dressings are off, and now I have steri-strips, instead of stitches, that are still healing. This limits my ability to turn my head and how I move my upper body, which is a bit annoying, and of course impairs driving (can’t turn my head all the way to see things).

I’m not in a lot of pain which is nice. Sleeping is still sort of hard. But fortunately this week is entirely clear so I can just hang out at home and work on knitted Christmas gifts and read while things heal up.

So, I’m doing fine, glad to have my new port!

Mid August Daybook

Daybook, family, health, books, food, knitting, links, transplantEmily DeArdoComment

Flowers at the local French cafe

Outside my window::

Sunny and breezy—great late summer weather.

Listening to::

The Rings of Power soundtrack. I’m very excited for the show to start on September 2!

Wearing::

crops and a gray t-shirt—a uniform of sorts for me.

Grateful for::

Conversations with Di, Patty, and Johnny.

Good Echo results!

new knitting projects

Pondering::

Functional fitness. As I wrote in the last daybook , this is important in just keeping up the house and doing regular things, but it’s also important in giving my body the tools it needs to “get through” things. If I’m stronger at the outset then I have less to lose if/when I get sick.

Like right now, I have a sinus infection. Wheeeeeee again. I’ve had a lot of them sine 2020, and that’s unusual for me. I had a long-overdue sinus surgery last December, but that didn’t seem to solve the problem the way it normally does.

So right now I’m on Cipro, which is a great, super powerful antibiotic which will clear up the sinuses—but will also mess with my tendons. So that is a bummer when it comes to the whole “functional fitness” thing, because I really do not want to rupture a tendon.

This means that my workouts have to change—I can’t be doing things like treadmill workouts. So I’m doing gentler things, but things that my body still needs, like yoga/stretches for my body, especially my legs (because my legs get really tight), and things I can do that don’t put a lot of stress on my knees or Achilles’ tendon, because these are the areas that tend to get grumpy with me. I’ve gotten some permanent injury to my right knee because I didn’t listen to my body when I’ve been on Cipro, so I don’t want to repeat that.

It’s a fine line, but it’s one that I have to figure out how to manage, and I think I have a good plan for the next two weeks that I’m on this medication.

Reading::

The Silmarillion,* The Book of Lost Tales (Part 1),* (yes, lots of Tolkien right now!) The Crossing* (my parents are really into this book series and so I’ve started reading them too), and Memories Before and After The Sound of Music.*

In case you’re wondering how I read multiple books at one time—I was an English Lit major in college (and Political Science), so I’m very good at reading multiple books at one time! I’m reading Silmarillion almost like I’d read it for a class; I take it slowly because there are a lot of names and places and things to remember. I try to read 1-2 chapters a day. The other books I’m not reading like that. But I’m very good at juggling books and plot lines.

Creating::

A '“stupid easy” shawl with some of the gorgeous yarn I bought on the yarn crawl!

The pattern is Casapinka’s “Woven”, which I had bought and forgot about in the wilds of my desk, but as part of the house reorganizing/decorating project, I was going through papers and found it, and then decided it would be perfect for this yarn. Ravelry notes here. I still have two shawls to block as well.

(Yes shawls are my favorite thing to knit. They’re so diverse and you can have o much fun with yarn and technique! BUT color work is also really fun. And I’m liking cowls. So cowls/shawls are my favorites right now.)

To live the liturgy::

Today is the feast of St. Bernard, Doctor of the Church and Abbot. Did you know he wrote “O Sacred Head Surrounded” (or “now Wounded” in some translations)? I didn’t! I love that hymn. He’s also featured in Dante’s Paradiso. (The last part of the Divine Comedy. If you haven’t read it, I recommend it!)

Around the house::

Still going on the big project but things are coming together! Yay!

From the kitchen::

I will make another load of Sourdough sometime this month to incorporate Diane’s suggestions to my last attempt! I’m actually really excited. I need to feed Sammy the Starter today.

Plans for the week::

All day doctor extravaganza on Monday for yearly testing. WHEEE. Since I’m on Cipro I won’t have to do the six minute walk, which I sort of hate anyway, so that’s a plus!

Travel Tips: How I Travel With All My Medication and Medical Stuff!

CF, transplant, travelEmily DeArdoComment

I don’t leave home without my pink InPen, obviously. :)

A lot of people assume I am a “bad packer” because I always have to check a bag—I can’t do any trip with just carry-ons. That’s not because I bring a lot of stuff for fun—it’s because I have so much medical stuff to pack! Traveling is easier now that it was pre-transplant because I don’t have to bring machines with me, like my aerosol machine and nebulizers, and all the parts that go with that. But I still have quite a few things that I have to take with me, so I thought I’d give you my tips and strategies in case you ever need them.

The first thing is my big bag of meds. I probably started doing this about 10 years ago. I keep all of my medications (except my vitamins) in a large zip top bag. (I use one of these). That way I can just grab the bag and go (this was actually done in case of random hospital admits. My parents would be able to just grab one bag and take it to the hospital without wondering if something was left behind.) When I travel, I do put my supplements and vitamins in here, as long as they fit. If the bottles don’t fit, I just put them in plastic bags. The reason I take the bottles along is in case I need a refill or something happens (always be prepared!), I have the pharmacy bottle and people can see exactly what I take. It’s also good in case I get stuck somewhere longer than I had planned; this way I have all my meds with me at all times.

Once I’m at my destination, I don’t have to carry my meds around with me, because they’re morning and evening meds, so I just take them with breakfast and whenever before bedtime is at my destination. (In Denver, I took them whenever we got back from my sister’s house.)

The big bag of meds on my insanely covered kitchen table!

Second is my insulin and other diabetes things.

I always carry in my purse my glucose meter (just in case my continuous glucose monitor has a hiccup) ,as well as backup insulin (both types), pen needles, and my emergency glucagon kit (this is “emergency glucose”, basically.) I keep all of these things in one of these pouches and that pouch always lives in my purse. I also try to remember to keep candy in this pouch in case I need it. I make sure my glucose monitor has lancets and plenty of (non-expired!) test strips. I will also keep two cartridges of short acting insulin for my inPen in there when I travel, so if I had to reload it when I’m out I can do it easily. (The inPen is the pink item in the top picture.)

Here’s what goes in the blue pouch: Pen needles, backup insulins, emergency glucose (in the red case) and my glucose meter. There are more pen needles inside.

For traveling, I have to bring more insulin. I take two kinds: short acting (right before meals) and “intermediate acting” that lasts for about 10-12 hours. These live in the refrigerator until I need them. When I travel, I take the supply I need and put them in one of these pouches* (do you see a trend here with pouches?) These pouches are great because you don’t need ice or ice packs! They work with cold water and keep insulin cold for up to 45 hours. These are fabulous and they come in tons of sizes!

So what I do is prep the pouch the night before and then stick my insulin in there. I pack waaaayyyy too much insulin—I’m getting better about that!—but I’d rather have too much than not enough. It stays in a refrigerator once I get to my destination (if you don’t have a fridge, you can use the pouch—there are instructions for continual cooling included) and then I prep the pouch again the night before I leave. When I get home, the insulin that I took with me is first in line to get used at home, so that way there’s no issues with waste or things not being cold. (My insulin can be used at room temperature as well, as in, it’s not “bad” if it’s at room temperature. I just use it first. But not all types are like this, so check yours!)

The other things I pack are: keto urine test strips, and a backup continuous glucose monitor, in case the one I’m wearing comes loose or gets accidentally removed. I also pack alcohol wipes. I put the monitor and the alcohol wipes in their own plastic bag and hopefully I won’t need to use this, but better safe than sorry!

The third thing I pack is candy or something that will raise my blood glucose if I need it. This is usually candy or a non-diet drink (like regular Gatorade that I’ll pick up at the airport if I’m flying). If I’m staying with someone I usually ask them to get me regular orange juice just in case I need it. (Or really any kind of juice, orange juice is my current favorite.) For the trip to Denver I put a few boxes of Sour Patch Kids in my luggage and in my carry on backpack, and picked up some additional candy and Gatorade at the airport. (This is also useful for taking my meds, since some of them are really nasty if taken with plain water! Steroid, looking at you.)

You can see, this is quite a bit of stuff; it all goes in my carry-on, which also holds my makeup and anything else I don’t want to risk being lost (like jewelry) and my chargers, which I need for my phone, but also my cochlear implant charger. My extra CI battery goes in my eyeglasses case, which is also in my carryon, as well as my contacts. (I have two CI batteries; one that is the backup and one that’s being used. I try to rotate them daily so they don’t wear out quickly. A battery can last up to 24 hours when fully charged.) In case you’re wondering, I use an LL Bean backpack as my carry-on, because it has lots of compartments and it’s extremely sturdy.

And that is all the medical stuff I pack! Whew! I really find that the pouches are great in keeping my organized, so I highly recommend those. I don’t use any pill boxes because I can remember what I need to take and for me it’s easier to just dole out the meds individually each day. This is my system, and it might not work for you, but I hope that some of these times are helpful!


Forty

CF, essays, organ donationEmily DeArdo1 Comment

I’m forty.

I wasn’t supposed to be forty. This was a birthday I was never supposed to see.

When I was diagnosed with CF, the average life expectancy was mid-thirties. Then I almost died at nineteen.

If my organ donor, Suzanne, hadn’t made the decision to donate her organs, I’d have died at twenty-three.

But she did. And seventeen years later, I’m forty.

FORTY.

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t dread my birthdays. I celebrate them with full vigor, and this one, especially, was celebrated to the hilt.

My door was decorated by my brother Bryan and my sister-in-law, Sarah.

They also sent me a truly stupendous bouquet of flowers.

That night, my parents hosted a party for me at a local restaurant. We had a private room!

I did the name cards!

(Sarris chocolate is my favorite chocolate in life. It’s a Pittsburgh-based chocolate company and I’ve been eating it since I’ve been old enough to have teeth. My grandma used to have little bowls of their foil wrapped Easter egg chocolates in her house and I loved to eat them. So I thought they’d be a sweet treat for our guests!)

Some of my favorite people were there…..

Amilia came all the way from Illinois for the party!

Tiffany and Bill were there! (Alice was with her grandparents.)

Mary was there!

If you’re read Living Memento Mori, then you know about Rita, one of my favorite nurses—she was at the party!

And my brother and SIL were there too!

It was a fabulous party—it went on for four hours, which didn’t seem quite possible.

It was, simply, way too much fun.

Suzanne made all of this possible. She makes my writing this possible.

If you’re not an organ donor, please consider it. You can sign up online here.

Life Lesson: Get In The Picture

CF, essaysEmily DeArdo1 Comment
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The other day, I was going through my photo stash on my computer. I’m sure I’m not the only one who suddenly realizes, I have thousands of photos on my phone, I should do something about that, and then goes on a deleting/organizing spree.

As I as going through them I found a lot of older photos of me, obviously. Photos that, at the time, I had hated. Take the photo above. I didn’t like the way I looked in that photo when it was actually taken. This has been a pretty constant thing for me, in all the years post-transplant. I rarely like how I look in photos.

This is because, pre-transplant, I was tiny. My body was actually eating itself to stay alive. I was actively dying in some photos. But damn I looked good in photos. Girls told me that they wanted to be me. I was a size 0 (00 didn’t exist then). I had a skirt from Gap that was an XXXS. That’s right. A triple small.

I weighed around 103 lbs in college. Before transplant, I weighed 85 pounds. I was the size of a middle schooler.

But I looked good in photographs.

Now, going back, I can see that I didn’t. I didn’t have good color, for one. I’ve always been fair, and I still am, but this was sick fair. Consumptive fair, Lucy-being-drained-of-blood-by-Dracula fair.

This is me in college—when I was healthier, when I weighed about 103 pounds or so.

It’s not a great picture, but you get the idea.

It’s not a great picture, but you get the idea.

But our culture—and really, it is our culture—is so screwed up that we think that a girl who wears a 00 and is dying is something to be emulated, that this is a “good look”, that this is a good thing.

It is not a good thing. I’m sure some people thought I was anorexic and that I did this on purpose. I didn’t.

CF, for girls, can make you look really “pretty”. You’re thin, for one, so that helps. People think you look good. But it hides the fact that ours bodies are cannibalizing ourselves to stay alive. A CF person needs about 5-6,000 calories a day. I wasn’t getting that. Even on TPN (total parietal nutrition—essentially tube feedings, via an IV that was hooked up while I slept), I wasn’t gaining weight.

But I didn’t mind having my picture taken.

Post-transplant, I mind. I mind a lot. There were maybe a few months where I felt OK about having my photo taken, but generally, over the past 16 years, I try to hide in photos. I don’t like seeing myself in photos.

I’m much healthier now, obviously. I’m not on the brink of death, and that’s not an exaggeration. I have muscles, my body doesn’t try to eat itself to give itself fuel. But there are lots of other issues—not the least is trying to re-learn how to eat after 23 years of “eat whatever you want”—and with diabetes, the fact that you can have to eat things like candy, or drink juice, just to keep your blood glucose happy, is a lot of balls to juggle.

I try not to complain about it. But it’s hard to see myself in photos.

But anyway, as I looked at the photo of Di and Frankie and I (above), I thought. I am glad I got in that picture. I am glad that I have this memory of that moment, of Frankie being that age and Di and I enjoying being together. I am glad that I am in this photo.

Over the weekend, Diane texted me and said that Bridget had found a photo of us, taken when I was on vacation, on her mom’s phone, and that it was “her favorite.”

And I realized, Bridget doesn’t care that I don’t like how I look. What she cares about is that I was in a photo with her. That we have this memory.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be stronger, that I don’t want to be in better shape. (I finished a workout right before I wrote this.) I do.

But so many times we don’t want to be in the picture until we “look better.”

But the important thing is that we make the memories. Because that’s what matters. That we have these things to look at later, and that people have these when we’re not there.

Get in the picture, folks.

Seven Quick Takes: Links! Health! Patty!

7 Quick Takes, CF, health, transplantEmily DeArdoComment

I know that’s not a sexy title, but….

I’ve been writing about COVID related stuff a bit in the past year. And as we start to talk about masks and lockdowns again, I thought it would make sense to have an index post about COVID-related things.

The reason I feel this way is because I have, not to brag, a lot of hospital experience. I’ve been a patient in a hospital for many years. I know hospitals. I know lung stuff. I know about risk assessment and personal health.

So I feel like I should share my insights with you, for whatever you think they’re worth.

-1-

COVID, antibodies, and transplant life: posted 5/24/21

This one is a bit of an outlier because it deals with transplant a little more specifically, but it also talks about acceptable risk a bit as well.

-2-

Prudence, Acceptable Risk, and Medicine: posted 5/10/21

This was originally going to be a two-parter, but I haven’t written the second part (yet). The first part deals with exactly what the title says—the fact that every medical “intervention” (including taking Tylenol) has risks associated with it, and it’s our job to assess risks for ourselves.

It also talks about how people are in hospitals every single day, in ICUs every single day, and on ventilators every.single.day, because this is totally forgotten in reporting.

-3-

Hospital 101: posted 11/23/20

Basically: “yes you can be in the hospital and not feel terribly crappy.” And, “No, being in the hospital does not mean that you’re going to die.”

-4-

COVID and lung function: posted 7/7/20

Yes, you can recover lung function after being really, really, REALLY sick! If my crappy old CF lungs could do it, yours can too!

-5-

So that’s the listing of the “big” COVID posts. I have some other things scattered in Quick Takes and various places, but these are the long forms, so to speak. I hope you find them helpful.

Here is Patty as reward! :)

She has EIGHT teeth! And can say cheese!"

She has EIGHT teeth! And can say cheese!"

-6-

I went swimming for the first time in two years! YAY! It felt so great to be back in the water!

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-7-

And finally I wrote two posts this week! ICYM them:

An awesome clinic visit

The state of the Writing Wicket

Sixteen

essays, transplantEmily DeArdo2 Comments
D19B5462-83A7-4191-AE6D-D33B6ED7C379.jpeg

I have now had my new lungs for sixteen years. They are old enough to drive. :-P (Actually, my donor was a 50 year old woman named Suzanne. So these lungs are now 66 and still kicking!)

The 16th year was hard. We had COVID. We had my transfer to a new center, which….to be honest is still sort of irritating, because adult hospitals just really do not care about their patients’ time in the same way a children’s hospital does. Kinks are being worked out. The diabetes stuff was….rough, not gonna lie. But also, huge strides have been made which is great.

AND there was Patty!!!!!!

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And getting to meet Patty!

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Even in the midst of worldwide pandemic, there is still joy. There is joy everywhere. Not every day, maybe. I’ve had days that were definitely not joy filled. I’m not a perpetual ball of sunshine. I know that there are days, weeks, months, years, even, that are hard sledding.

But the key is to find the moments that are good (or, less bad).

There isn’t a whole lot of data for post-lung transplant folk like me. the data sets I’ve seen go to 10 years, and there aren’t enough patients to talk about 15 year, or 20 year, data. I’m making data.

I love turning the pages on the calendar. I love having birthdays. I love getting older because I wasn’t supposed to get older. But because of Suzanne, my donor, I did.

And I am grateful and incredibly happy about that.

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COVID, antibodies, and transplant life

Emily DeArdo1 Comment
Vermeer, “The milkmaid”

Vermeer, “The milkmaid”

There was an op-ed in the NYT today, written by a kidney transplant recipient (Her name is Candida Moss), who has found out that after both COVID shots, she does not have any antibodies to the disease in her body.

After being vaccinated, I was given a spike protein test to see if I had immunity. When I learned I had developed no antibodies, I felt sick to my stomach: How will I persuade others to continue to be careful? How many vulnerable people don’t realize they aren’t protected?

Sigh. OK. It’s time for me to do some brief transplant talk here. This was originally a twitter thread, but now I’m expanding it because I think more people need to be aware of things.

Let’s focus on this paragraph, and then I’ll give you some background.

Until recently, immunocompromised people were excluded from studies of the mRNA vaccines for Covid-19, but data from clinical trials is beginning to emerge. A study of fully vaccinated kidney transplant patients published in April by researchers at New York- Presbyterian Hospital and Columbia University Medical Center revealed that 75 percent of kidney transplant patients studied did not develop measurable immunity after both doses of the vaccine. A second study published by Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine researchers in May found that only 54 percent of fully vaccinated organ transplant recipients studied had antibodies. The numbers are different, but both studies showed that immunocompromised people had significantly reduced responses to the mRNA vaccines.

(emphasis above is mine)

Transplants work because we have medications that suppress the immune system. That’s the basic science behind transplant. We take organs from donors and put them in recipients’ bodies. We want to get the closest match possible for the best chance of success, but even then, medications are needed to keep the recipients’ bodies from figuring out “hey! There’s something here that does not belong!”

The big thing to worry about in transplant is organ rejection. Basically, the body knows that my lungs aren’t mine. We have to trick my body constantly into accepting these lungs as my lungs. So, normally at the outset of transplant, and for the first few years, we need to have a higher dose of medication to “fool” our bodies. For example, when I first had my transplant, I was on 40 mg of prednisone. Now I am on 5 mg of predisone. That’s a big drop in terms of suppression, and that’s good. The higher your immunosuppression dose, the more likely you are to get random bugs that are floating around, because we’re tricking the system in such a huge way.

The farther out a person is from transplant, the less suppression medication you are usually on, and that makes a difference in how “aware” your own innate immune system is. Also, the farther out you are, the chance of rejection drops. Now that I’m 16 years out, we still, of course, think about rejection, but the bigger health issues are the things caused by my medications (see, my diabetes, skin cancers, etc.). It’s not so much the fear of rejection.

This plays a big part in how someone might act and what decisions they might make. We don’t know how far out Ms. Moss is, so that’s key context that is missing in this story. If she’s one year out, that’s vastly different than if she’s 16 or 20 or 25 years out.

Key takeaway: Rejection is the big scary thing in transplant world.

(Also that study she mentions for kidney recipients? It’s twenty eight people with an average age of 66. So……)

So, that brings us to COVID. Bad COVID is basically end-stage CF. That’s a problem. It’s not fun. That’s why I got the vaccine.

Lungs are the only organs that are continually exposed to the world, because, obviously, air. That doesn’t happen with hearts or kidneys or livers. They’re protected from these things. So the fact that she’s a kidney recipient immediately changes the discussion, because her risk probably isn’t as high as mine is, because of the nature of our transplants. (I’m guessing, and I’m not trying to diss her.)

So, if you had a lung transplant in the last year, WOW. I know someone who did, actually. That person’s team probably wants him on lockdown, because not only are the immunosuppression meds at their highest (usually), but also, the body itself is weak. I was very weak post transplant. I needed to work! I needed to eat and get strong! So that plays into as well and makes the risk of COVID (or anything, really) more likely and more devastating, because the body isn’t in a place to fight off anything. It’s low on resources in every way. So a person who is only a year post right now is probably living in a very small world, out of absolute necessity.

This is also what makes us different from other immunocompromised people, a fact that Ms. Moss doesn’t talk about. Remember the key takeaway? Our risk when we get sick is also rejection of a vital organ we need to survive. Our doctors have to balance treating us with also keeping our transplanted organs happy. That’s a fine line to walk, to put it mildly.

That’s not the case with other people who are immunocompromised due to cancer or pregnancy or other things. This was never mentioned, and it’s a big point.

Onto the third point: Vaccines and antibodies.

When my team first talked to us about the vaccine, they told us that they had no idea if we would get any protection. Immunocompromised people hadn’t been studied. So the fact that, according to the article, 54% of transplant recipients that have gotten the vaccine have antibodies, is not a “just” situation. That’s a huge good. That’s great! That number makes me really ecstatically happy! YAY!!!!!! Some of us—actually a majority of people studied—have protection! YES!

And then, we get into the “feeling” weeds, where the author just….sigh. Well, I’ll let you read it.

The vaccine passport on my phone is comically meaningless. Yes, I’m vaccinated, but that doesn’t actually protect me. Thankfully, I have been able to spend the pandemic working from home and shielded from danger. Like everyone else, I nurtured dreams of socializing, travel and seeing relatives I have not seen in over a year. I am tired of my apartment. I feel guilty for forcing my immediate family to continue distancing, but the mortality rates for people like me are high. I’m delighted for friends and relatives who have more freedom, but I feel stuck. I’d like to go back to February, when I thought that vaccination meant safety, or even March when I knew others would wear masks at the grocery store.

Here’s the issue. She mentions nothing about what her doctors are telling her. She might not have to continue to force her family to distance. Have they been vaccinated? My parents have been. I’m allowed to interact with them. (I was before anyway) I will see relatives next month. Yes, mortality rates for people like us are high, but that’s also one of the risks of post-transplant life in general. To live 16 years, like I have, is ground-breaking. I’m not just saying that to be make myself sound awesome, it’s true. There really are not statistics for people who are more than 10 years out.

She says she feels “stuck”, which, OK, but again, this is something she needs to talk to her doctors about. Maybe she has, I don’t know, context is missing from so much of this.

Also, “shielded from danger”? Hon. You can die in the tub, falling out of bed, or walking down the street.

The pandemic exposed society’s ageism and ableism, with many people in the beginning months arguing that only the sick and the elderly were at risk. I thought we would learn to be more thoughtful about accommodating the vulnerable. But the invitations to large gatherings that I receive, which omit any reference to safety measures or remote attendance, feel like conscious avoidance of any disparities.

Oh, good grief. Seriously? If we were more thoughtful about accommodating the vulnerable, everyone would be forced to get flu shots every year. People would stay home when they’re sick, and not send their children to school sick. Etc. Let’s stop acting like the pandemic exposed things we didn’t know about how vulnerable populations are treated. We’ve known these things forever, they are not new. She’s lucky she could work from home during the pandemic. The lack of being able to work from home and having accommodation is what made me leave my job.

She’s getting invited to things, and that’s great. If she does not feel comfortable going, she needs to say that she does not comfortable going. One of the big things you learn in post-transplant life is how to balance living with risk acceptance/avoidance. There are things I try not to do now. I avoid indoor malls at Christmastime and in the winter. I try not to fly in flu season. I’ve always been very conscientious (or nuts) about wiping down every inch of my space on an airplane, drinking water copiously, and traveling with masks in case someone is sick on the plane. If it’s really hot, and the UV index is high, then no, I don’t go to the Harry Potter fair with my friends. I stay home. It’s a balance!

I was hoping we’d get context and more fact-based stuff here, but we didn’t. We got a lot of feelings and that’s fine, because feelings are valid, but at the same time, there’s the balance here of risk that all transplant recipients have to learn to balance, because either extreme way is pointing toward insanity and bad consequences. Her talk about danger and risk of death seems to be overwhelming to her, which is concerning. Yes, we shouldn’t act foolish, but at the same time, risk is inherent in daily living. Each person has to decide for herself what her own acceptable level of risk is, and go from there.

Seven Quick Takes--Second Friday of Lent

7 Quick Takes, Lent, knitting, transplant, healthEmily DeArdoComment
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Hi, everyone! How was your first week of Lent?

Mine was MEH. I thought I could get away with king just little social media. No, I really can’t. I need to be strict about it. So I’m really going to try to only use it for book/writing things and some random updates on my personal page on FB. Because man I use way too much SM. So. Time for timers!

In other news, we WILL start Stations tonight! 7:00 PM EST on my Facebook author page!

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Patty and her family are safe and warm in Texas. :)

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Patty was supervising her mom’s yard work when this was taken. :)

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I got my first COVID vaccine!

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Yayyyy! My parents and I all got it at a drive-through clinic here in town. It went really fast and really well. I did have a sore spot the next day, but it was minor. Didn’t stop me rom doing anything or sleeping on it.

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I had clinic on Monday. It was….special? I mean, not bad special. I get to go six months without being seen which is the longest I have ever gone in my life between pulmonology appointments, so yay! And my old transplant coordinator at Children’s is now at the New Resort, double yay!!!!! As I told my doctor, “We’re getting the band back together!”

But in some non-yays, I am learning the ways of the new place. The first thing being, they will not take you early. Doesn’t matter if they have time, doesn’t matter if the doctors are ready. They will not take you early. So I now know I don’t have to get up as early as I did, because if I’m there early I just….sit there. Until it’s my turn to be called.

Actually, you can tell this hospital is not used to people being on the ball, because they say they want you there a half hour before your appointment time. I’m assuming this is because people tend to be late. I, however, am almost never late. If I am late, I am probably dead. :-p So, now I know!

Also in the lab, I had a freak out with the tech because she saw all the orders for me in the computer—we were doing vitamin levels and that always require like 40 orders—and she freeeeeeaked. “Well, what do you normally have drawn?! There are orders from two doctors in here! Who do I call!? What labs do you normally get drawn?”

I do not know. I tell her that. She asks me again, in increasing levels of panic.

We did this about four times.

Then I had to give her the clinic number so she could….call and ask them if they really wanted all these labs.

It was insane.

If it’s in the computer….it gets drawn. Sigh.

But, everything was good. PFTs were good, a random treadmill test was good, everything was good. Everyone is happy. We’re working on getting my colonoscopy scheduled….what joy. :-p (it’s a little tricker for me because we have to use the port, and we have to make sure I have lots of anti-emetics (anti-nausea) drugs on hand because my stomach hates the prep. We’re talking projectile vomiting hates the prep, folks. )

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The nice thing about this clinic, however, is that it’s close to a French cafe and a local yarn store! So I went to the yarn store and picked up a really quick project—the yarnicorn cowl.

Knitting in clinic!

Knitting in clinic!

Done the next day!

Done the next day!

I’ve never used a really chunky yarn like this before and it was SO FUN. It’s from Knit Collage, if you want to check it out. I definitely am going to use more of this in the future! (I used the Lagoon and Nomad color ways here, in the Cast Away yarn.)

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Quick ad break! If you haven’t picked up Living Memento Mori, please do so? Support your local Catholic author! :) I also have a patreon, with memberships starting at a buck a month!

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Next week’s yarn along is going to be AWESOME because…..the cardigan is finished. But more on that next week!!!!!! :)

Seven Quick Takes--What a Week!

7 Quick Takes, health, knittingEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Oh my goodness what a week around here!

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On Sunday I celebrated the birthday of my book! So that was a nice start to the week (or end of the week, depending on how you count the weeks!).

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Monday was…OK? I mean my body was still being sort of silly and my sleep was nuts, but it was all right.

Tuesday, however…..no bueno.

It began with finding an email saying that one of my favorite flower companies supports Planned Parenthood. This makes me sad and angry on several levels. One, that the lie that PP is for “women’s health” continues to have traction, whether or not people believe it or if they’re just parroting something that sounds good. Second, that people still think that being able to murder your babies is an OK thing. And third, that politics has to be in everything, even flowers!

Endo kept calling my parent about check in stuff and we couldn’t get ahold of them. (More on endo in a bit). THEN it was port access day, and my port decided not to work.

“Work” in this case means—get blood return. Really quickly: When you access a port, you put in the port needle, with a syringe full of saline attached (used to flush the line) and if the needle in the port, when you pull back on the syringe, blood will come out.

No blood came out. We tried several times.

So, this means that either 1) there is some sort of issue in the line that needs professional help, or 2)the port is broken. The port is 16 years old, so that’s pretty likely. They don’t last forever, sadly.

So I had to email Kim, my transplant coordinator, and see what’s up.

And then both my hockey teams lost in OT.

Tuesday was not good.

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Wednesday.

Kim gets back to me and asks me if I want to see what happens with my port when I come in for blood work on 2/22. I say, yes, let’s do that. If the nurses can’t get it, then we will try a dye study to see if the port is really broken. And if it is, then surgery to remove the old one and put in a new one, which I hope fervently will be a POWER PORT! A power port means that I can get CT contrast through that line! Yayyyyyy!

So, OK, one issue dealt with. The port doesn’t hurt me, so the fact that it’s not currently working isn’t a huge deal.

I have an endocrinology appointment so my parents have to play phone tag with endo and I wail about how the fact that they won’t email me is just insane. Sigh.

So, the office is crazy, but my doctor is good, and I really like her. My appointment with her goes really well; my A1c has dropped two percentage points since last year, so that’s great. She’s “not worried about me” and is pleased with my progress. (I really like it when I don’t worry my doctors.) We make a few little insulin tweaks and set up some more appointments, including an education appointment. So I’m really glad that endo went well.

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And I was so glad that endo went well, and I was all dressed and pretty, so I went to the local yarn store! I had emailed them earlier in the week about stopping in for some help and the owners graciously said yes! (Knit ins aren’t happening right now, obviously, but this was OK.) So with the help of one of the wonderful owners, I finally have figured out how to pick up stitches for my cardigan collar! Huzzah! The end is near!

And then Ince I was there I had to get more yarn, right? So I did. Firstly because the woman had given me her time—she really had, she sat by me until I said I was comfortable doing it!—and also because…..YARN.

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Behold the pretty—this is all Wonderland Yarn from Frabjous Fibers in the Mary Ann fingering base. Tonals: the bright turquoise, called Seaography; variegated: Biscotti, from the Tea Time Collection (the cream/gold/sienna speckle), and then the last two are from their De-Stitch Nation special collection: Jerusalem and Egypt.

Right now I’m thinking about doing a Free Your Fade shawl with Seaography, Egypt, and Jerusalem. Biscotti is a great neutral that will work with anything and makes me really happy.

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The other issue is vaccine roll out here. I am in group “1b” , but that’s been a group that’s been subject to a lot of political pandering. I might not get the vaccine until February 15 because, while I have lots of health issues that are in this group, I don’t have intellectual impairments. I’m not sure how that affects your immune system, but…..the state has decreed it so. Sigh.

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So yes it’s been a busy sort of insane week. But there are good things in it, as always. Like Patty!

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She’s scooting now and it’s so cute—her mom video called me to show me. I just adore this child. And check that dimple!

As soon as I get vaccinated I am RUNNING to see her.

Seven Quick Takes--Giveaway Winners!!!!

give aways, CF, food, recipesEmily DeArdo1 Comment
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It has been BUSY here this week! First there was the book giveaway—and the winners are….

Christy Thomas and Rachel Anna!

Congratulations!! I hope you love the book! I I have emailed you to get your information. :)

Thanks to EVERYONE who entered! If you’d like your own signed copy, email me—they are $20 and include a bookmark and prayer card! (And shipping!)

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I also wrote this: No, you cannot cure ALL THE THINGS with diet….

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Speaking of health stuff….this vaccine rollout has been sort of nuts.

First, the state decided that my group of people—people with “congenital” issues, which CF is, but it’s weird to call it that—can begin getting the vaccine on Monday. Ok. Fine.

I talked to my transplant clinic (OSUMC) and they said, well check with the Department of Health.

Oooookay.

So I register with my county’s health department. Fine.

Then I hear that OSUMC is doing a big vaccination clinic for their patients, even turning the basketball arena into a vaccine clinic. Yay!

Oh wait. I’m not eligible for that, because…….health departments are taking care of me? Huh? OSUMC is only doing their elderly patients? (Which makes zero sense given that I am a transplant patient and they see adult CF patients?!)

This makes no sense to me. OSU is doing elderly people, which, OK, obviously they need it. But health departments aren’t getting a ton of vaccines, especially in a county like mine which has a smaller population and is mostly rural. They’re getting a few hundred doses and they have thousands of people signed up.

So. I have no idea when I’m getting the vaccine or where, but I’m really annoyed that the place where I get my healthcare isn’t making an effort to put its patients in their clinic.

This sort of dovetails into something else I’ve been wanting to talk about….

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Adult hospitals really don’t care about making your life easier. They don’t. Children’s hospitals do.

The Resort had everything there. Radiology. Labs. Clinics. ER. Hospital. EVERYTHING. All under one roof. I drove, I parked once, I got everything done. It was easy.

At OSUMC, nope. I have to drive to one building to get my tests done before clinic. Because we can’t use the radiology department in the hospital. And there’s no pulmonary function testing lab at the hospital. REALLY? They do lung transplants. And there isn’t a PFT lab at the hospital itself?

So I have to go to this place, register twice, and then drive to the hospital itself for my appointment.

At the hospital, they do not take you early. They did at the Resort. At the Resort, my day started with an 8:0 lab draw in infusion. I was often out the door by 11 am. I’d seen everyone.

Here? NOPE. I’ve got labs at 9, then PFTs, then X-ray, then I have hours to wait before my 2:00 appt., because they won’t take me early. Seriously?

So I have to find ways to amuse myself between these two things, and I waste an entire day. This annoys the crap out of me.

Ad finally, the free parking is only good for a few hours. So there’s that.

Adult hospitals, quite frankly, suck at this stuff. They’re so awful. And if it wasn’t COVID-tide this would be somewhat better because I could go to cute cafes nearby, or go shopping or something. With COVID, this all becomes a massive pain in the butt because places are either closed to indoor seating, or I’m sitting around wearing a mask in all these places for hours, which is annoying.

ADULT HOSPITALS! DO BETTER.

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OK after that you deserve some Patty. Here you go

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She just had her six month check-up and she has gotten taller and heavier so yayyy! And then she got her six month shots, poor bebe. :(

That’s one reason I want the vaccine NOW—I want to see Patty!!!!!!!!! I want to travel!

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This weeknight bolognese recipe is EPIC and you need to make it….I didn’t use ground sirloin, I used regular old ground beef. :) Also left out the cream. But SO GOOD.

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And finally, I read The Lost Man this week and really liked it. If you like mysteries, this is a really good one!

Clinic: "Rock solid"

healthEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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That’s what the transplant pulmonologist said to me—things are “rock solid”.

So that’s always good to hear! I met a new doctor today who had a great sense of humor and is on top of things, so that makes me happy about being at OSU right now. I had, of course, Dr. K, who is my “main” doctor, but it was nice to know another doctor and to like him. I also met another transplant coordinator who I also liked! So this is good.

(And I got my flu shot. Get yours, please and thank you!)

So the day is different now than how clinic used to be. At The Old Resort, it was all in one building, so that was nice in that once you were in, you were in. And the parking was in a garage, so you never walked outside.

Now I start my day at one place, an outpatient center, where I get blood, x-rays, and PFTs done. It’s two buildings connected by a covered walkway, so you walk outside and the parking is outside (but it’s free, so….). Once all that’s done, I go to the main hospital for clinic. There, parking is in an excellent garage, but you have to pay (you get “validated” parking, but I think it’s only good for like two hours. BOO HISS. After that you have to pay.).

Anyway, today I met the new nurses who will be accessing my port—both of them are very nice. But in that building, it’s 98% cancer patients (and post-transplant folk like me who have port draws.) The “tower”, as it’s called, is 11 floors, and it has oncology doctors, clinics, infusion for chemo, etc., etc.

So I was surrounded by cancer patients, and one, in particular, looked so cold and sad that I just wanted to hug her, wrap her in cashmere and bubble wrap, tuck her into bed, and feed her about 50 Frosties. It’s 70 here right now, and it was about 55 this morning, but she looked absolutely frigid. So, please pray for her and all the other cancer patients?

After that I went to visit the radiology folk and then the PFT lab, where I had Ashley, the same tech I had last time, and ho is really nice. So that’s all in and out.

But anyway, yeah, “rock solid.” The doctor today said his job is “not to break me” since I’m so far out. And that works for me—I like a doctor who takes that sort of approach!

So that’s the clinic wrap. Next appointment in three months!

Like this post? Consider supporting my writing by becoming a patron on Patreon!

Seven Quick Takes--Live Like Me!

7 Quick Takes, health, the bookEmily DeArdoComment
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OK, so my friend Andrea gave me a great idea for this post: About HOW TO LIVE LIKE ME in this time of virus nuttiness! :) So after some book business I will share!

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BOOK BUSINESS :)

The Living Memento Mori book club has kicked off!

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You can watch the previous two installments on my facebook page! I’d love to see you at our next meeting on Tuesday, when we’ll talk about chapter three.

Also, my book is on sale at Amazon, so you can get it at a reduced price! Yay!

Also, Ave Maria Press is having a sale!

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So you can pick up the book there too!

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OK so, living like me.

One of the things I’ve said in this crazy virus time is that immunosuppressed people like moi actually know how to protect themselves from viruses and things, because we do it all the time.

So now, I shall share my tips with you!

Let’s talk about crowds in general. About people. The first year after my transplant, my team was strict about certain things—no malls in the winter, things like that. I couldn’t go to Mass for the first three or four months post-transplant. Since I’m not almost 15 years out, a lot of those restrictions have eased.

I still don’t really like to fly during flu season and avoid it if possible. But I go to the movies and the mall and all sorts of places. I take precautions. Things like eating from a salad bar, I still don’t do. I try to avoid buffets as much as possible, or, if possible, I try to serve myself first so that I avoid most of the people’s germs getting on the food. These are things I and my family think about. You might not have to think about it, but if you’re worried about the virus, it might behoove you to start thinking about these things and deciding what you are comfortable with—as in, your personal level of risk.

I know people, for example, who, post-transplant, change their clothes if they' are in the hospital for any period of time. I never did that. First off, it would’ve been insanely impractical; I often went from clinic appointments to work. But also, because I was comfortable with that level of “exposure” or “risk.”

So, deciding on your personal risk level is important. And realize that not everyone shares your feelings—and I don’t expect everyone else to live like me! :) But if you want to know my tips, here we go.

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Carry hand sanitizer. Get one of those little key chain things from Bath and Body Works and put hand sanitizer in it. Grab sanitizer whenever you’re in there to stock up on body wash or whatever—it’s almost always on some sort of sale. Then you have a stockpile! I keep one in my desk and also in my purse.

NOW: Here is how you use it.

When you touch things, you use the sanitizer. Touch money? Sanitizer. Use the pen at the credit card kiosk thing at the store? Sanitize. Use the gas pump? Sanitize. Just do it. It becomes a habit. In the hospital rooms at the resort there is a sign that says GEL IN, GEL OUT. That means use the sanitizer gel when you come into a patient’s room, and when you leave it. So think of that. Gel in. Gel out. Clean hands! (You don’t have to use it EVERY TIME YOU TOUCH SOMETHING. You’d go nuts. But use it at various times when you’re in a store. Definitely use it when you leave. Things like that.)

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BRING YOUR OWN WHATEVER

Carry your own pens in your purse, so they’re “clean”, and no one else uses it but you! If you use the pen at the doctor’s office, sanitize your hands after you use it! (Also clean off your cell phone, don’t let other people touch it, and if they do, clean it again. Normally I’m not fanatical about this, but right now, it can’t hurt!)

I have my own Magnificat for a few reasons—because I wanted all the prayers to help me know what the priest is saying at Mass, but now, it’s so I don’t use the communal pew missal! It’s clean! It’s mine! No one else messes with it! Only germs on it are mine. :)

Have tissues in your purse, so that if you have to blow your nose, you can and there you go. :) (Also useful for spitting when you have productive cough—isn’t CF elegant? :-P)

When I fly, I bring wipes, and I wipe down the tray, the seat back, the seat rests, and anything else I’m likely to touch. I am really germaphobic when I fly. Now, who knows, I might be that way at a restaurant.

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Don’t open doors with your hands. Use the handicapped switch plate, if there is one—just bang it with your elbow. Push against doors to open them. Also, if you’re wearing gloves (like regular winter gloves), you’re OK. Basically you want to avoid “high touch surfaces”—if you can’t, then, sanitize and go.

In the bathroom you can try to use a paper towel to open the door after you wash your hands, or just sanitize when you get back to your seat. (B/c not every place has paper towels, but they need to bring them back, since they’re MUCH more effective at removing germs from hands after you wash them than the “air dryer” thing.)

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Demonstrate good germ hygiene. Cough into your elbow. Blow your nose once and toss the tissue. IF YOU ARE SICK STAY HOME PLEASE. This, really, is key. I can do all sorts of things to protect myself, but if you come to church/work/whatever, sick, you are putting people at risk. Please do not be stupid. If you MUST come to work sick, then do whatever you can to avoid infecting others. Don’t sit at he communal lunch table! Cover your cough! Etc.

I am not perfect about all this—ask my mom! :) But I’m still alive 15 years post-transplant so I must be doing something right.

Did I wear masks out and about before? No. Not unless I was on a plane or in a hospital (and even in a hospital under SEVERE duress. I hate wearing them). I do have them—as in, real surgical masks. (I also have cloth ones, thanks to my friend Elizabeth!) I will be wearing them when I go out and I’ll keep a stash in my purse, just like I do with tissues and hand sanitizer.

The whole point of a transplant is to have a life after transplant. I know people who are SERIOUS germaphobes post. They don’t open their windows when someone is cutting grass outside. They don’t open car windows if there’s construction. They’re terrified of leaving their house.

That was never me. The point is to live, but not live stupidly. I try not to do stupid things.

Like I said above, I’m not perfect. But a lot of people are freaking out about being in public with anyone, with touching anything, and I’m going to tell you that there are ways to do it and be safe. There really are. I know because I do it, every day, year in and year out, that don’t involve shutting everything down and never leaving your hobbit hole again. I went to the pool. I went to hockey games. I went to amusement parks.

In short, I had a life.

You can too!






Greetings From the Resort

essays, healthEmily DeArdo3 Comments
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Yes, I’m back in the Resort.

For new readers, I started calling Children’s Hospital “The Resort” once I started working, because all my vacation days ended up being spent here, and the name stuck.

On Thursday I started having a lot of abdominal pain. After I talked to the nurses at clinic, they mentioned that I had gall stones on my last CT scan that I had when I had the Awful, Nasty Stomach Bug. So back I went to the local ER (It’s run by a local hospital, so it’s a good one, not like some tiny little thing), where they ran tests and determined that I had….pancreatitis.

My old friend!

I haven’t had a bout of this in years, but once that diagnosis came in, I knew what I was in for. So Mom and I went back to my place, I packed a bag, and dad drove me to Children’s, where I am currently writing this.

The treatment for pancreatitis is: IV fluids, anti-nausea meds, and pain meds. That’s in. Blood is drawn daily to see how the lipase (a pancreatic enzyme) is doing—with pancreatitis this number is high. We want it to be around 50 or so, and today mine was 480 sometimes, which is still better than the 1600 it was when I was first admitted!

Giselle the Unicorn.

Giselle the Unicorn.

So, all in all, not too bad, except for being in a hospital, but even that’s not bad, because I don’t really get bothered. There’s no fancy treatment for this, just meds through an IV line. At some point I’ll try eating “clears” (broth, jello, etc.) and if that stays down then we’ll try more substantial foods.

So, that’s where I am right now. But big news coming later this week! (If you already subscribe to the blog, you know what the news is….)


Endocrinology (Or: Not Personal Failure!)

essays, healthEmily DeArdo1 Comment
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So the past two weeks have been sort of nuts, and hence why I haven’t written. So I’ll bring you up to speed and explain the title.


After my last post, I got a killer stomach bug, and I ended up in the ER. When you’re me—meaning, you take a lot of meds, you have blood sugar level issues, and you need to be able to keep things down—you don’t really “wait out” a stomach bug. (In fact, I learned today I get to give myself four hours before going to an ER for treatment.)

So after a day of nausea and 12 hours of vomiting (WHAT JOY) and abdominal pain, I took myself to the local free-standing ER, which is excellent. My mom met me there, Dad drove my car home, and four hours later I’d had IV fluids, anti-emetics (anti-vomiting meds), and pain meds, I felt a lot better, everything calmed down, and I got to go home. I spend Tuesday sort of out of it. Wednesday had a ton of energy and did laundry and some taking out of trash. Thursday, pretty back to normal—but I needed to take my car to the service place to get a tire patched. Friday, normalcy! Saturday, Harry Potter tea with my writers ‘ group (post on that coming), and I went to Mass for the first time in two weeks. Hallelujah!



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So, that was last week. This week, the tire repair didn’t hold, so I had to call AAA to put the spare on on Monday, get the tire checked out Tuesday, to find out I need a new tire, which will be on my car tomorrow, which meant that I had to borrow my mom’s car to get to my endocrinology appointment today.

Honestly, I was really freaked about this appointment. I had visions of insulin shots multiple times a day and constant finger sticks and food restrictions and all sorts of evil things conjured by the word “diabetes.” I really, really, really didn’t want a heavy-duty diagnosis. I was freaked out.

I had a long appointment today (2 hours), where I met with great, wonderful, smart people, who went over my history and all my labs with a fine-tooth comb. They looked at everything. They asked about family history. The fact that my mom has five sisters, and that my grandma is almost 90 and in pretty darn good health, is great for my doctors because there’s a lot of female family history to look at when we’re talking about health indicators.

My endocrinologist thinks that what I have is a type of CF related diabetes (CFRD), which is not Type 1 diabetes, even though insulin is involved, and it’s not type 2 diabetes. It’s its own special thing. But what this did for me was release a big burden I’d been carrying around—the idea that I had done this to myself. That if I had done more or tried harder or whatever, that I wouldn’t have been in that office.

That’s not the case. Dr. W (the new doc) said that just about every CF person will get CFRD at some point, because we’re living longer. The severity will vary, but it’s probably going to happen. Throw in the fact that I’m on three drugs that mess around with blood sugar production and regulation, and, yeah. This was, most likely, going to happen.

We don’t exactly have a plan yet, because we need data, which will be provided by two things:

Me checking my blood glucose level at various times a day

Me wearing a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) for a week. This little do-dad checks your blood sugar every five minutes with a little sensor. So we’ll get tons of data, cascades of data! And with that data, we can make a plan.

The other great thing as that this doctor asked me if I was OK with this plan. That’s so important to me. I want to be OK with what we’re doing. And with this doctor, I do. I feel secure and I trust her to do the right thing to get things under control.

So even though I’m going to be doing a lot of finger sticks over the next few days/weeks, I don’t really mind. Because I don’t feel like a total failure, like I brought this upon myself. I didn’t. This is the result of being 37 with CF and a double-lung transplant. It’s the way it goes.

We get the data, we make a plan, and we move on.



Seven Quick Takes--the 60th of September

7 Quick Takes, Catholicism, CF, health, Seven Quick Takes, the book, transplant, writingEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Linking up with Kelly!

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In case you missed it, here’s what’s been going down around these parts this week:

Simplicity Series #1—Reset Day!

Stitch Fix Box #8!


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The reason this post is entitled the 60th of September is because this month has seemed insanely long. Isn’t there a song called “Wake Me Up When September Ends?” That’s how I feel right now. It’s just been so long. And sort of crazy.

One of the big crazy-making things is that I’m in the middle of Doctor Roulette, which I really haven’t written about here, so I probably need to catch you up.


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(If you’re not interested in medical stuff, skip this and go to point four, where I talk about BOOK THINGS!)

So, being post-transplant, and being fourteen years out, is….interesting. Obviously, I am INSANELY GRATEFUL to be at that marker. I am. Never think I’m not. But at the same time, it’s a Brave New World of Medical Stuff, because it’s rare. So when things happen, there’s not a lot of research to go on. There’s just…..talking. And guessing. And seeing what works.

Essentially, all summer we have been messing with insulin, because my blood glucose levels have been off. (I”m trying to keep this as medical jargon free, but when I say this, what I mean is my A1c, not my BGLs. If you’re confused, I can explain in another post, so let me know if you want that much detail into my life!)

So my team decided to put me on some long-acting insulin.

But……that didn’t work. First, it didn’t lower my BGLs, which I was testing twice a day, and second, insulin is a hormone. That means it can affect lots of parts of your body.

For me, that meant—headaches. Not sleeping. Weight gain (DAMN IT), and insanely inappropriate mood reactions. If Big Ben threw an interception I wanted to break things. If someone parked next to me at the supermarket, I became incandescently angry.

This is not appropriate.

And the scariest part for me? Forgetting things. Words. Ideas. What I was doing. This is not good. I rely on my brain, and words are my trade. I can’t be forgetting them! I need to be mentally sharp.

(But you’re never mentally sharp, Emily, says the peanut gallery….)

I did some digging and found out that when you have too much insulin—as in, you have WAY too much, and your body doesn’t need it—this is what happens.

And this is the problem. My body is weird. Not just the transplant weird, but weird for a CF person. I’m what’s called “pancreatically sufficient”, which is rare. It means my pancreas works like a normal person’s, not like a CF person’s. I don’t need to take enzymes to help digest my food, because my pancreas does it. I never had CF related diabetes.

And my A1c starting rising once I hit menopause—so there’s probably a connection there as well.

So, long story short, my team is sort of confused, and I’m seeing an endocrinologist the day before Halloween. That’s one reason I haven’t been writing as much this month, because things have just been crazy, but also my body has been through a lot, and I’m trying to be nice to it. Which means, chilling out, after all the non chilling out. :-P

There are some other issues, too, mainly that I don’t have a great track record when seeing endos, because they look at me and go, you’re really messed up, what do you want me to do about it?

But anyway, that’s at the end of October. Yay.


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in the meantime!

BOOK THINGS!

People are starting to ask for interviews, which is….weird. I mean, good, but weird.

The cover is 99% done. I’ve seen it. I can’t show you yet. If you want to be the first to see it, subscribe to the blog!

It’s really pretty, I like it. :)


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Hockey season starts soon and this makes me very happy!


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I am going on retreat next week, so if you have prayer requests, I am honored to take them with me! Drop them in the combox, or use the contact page.


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If you haven’t seen the Word on Fire team’s newest entries in their Pivotal Players series—Fulton Sheen and Flannery O’Connor—I highly recommend them! They’re great! Flannery is a really important influence for me, in how to live as a Catholic and a writer, and I write this quote from her at the beginning of all my journals:


I feel that if I were not a Catholic, I would have no reason to write, no reason to see, no reason ever to feel horrified or even enjoy anything. I am a born Catholic, went to Catholic school in my early years, and have never left or wanted to leave the Church. I have never had the sense that being a Catholic is a limit to the freedom of the writer, but just the reverse. … I feel myself that being a Catholic has saved me a couple of thousand years in learning to write. (The Habit of Being *)


So I love the Flannery film. It was also nice to learn more about soon to be Blessed Fulton Sheen—I had read some of his books, and I knew of him, but the film does a great job fleshing out what I knew.

(Also, in a nice twist, a college friend of mine composed the music for both films. Go Sean!)

And I really don’t think we can improve on Fulton and Flannery, do you? :) Have a great weekend!

*==Amazon Affiliate Link