Seven Quick Takes 125: Why Y'all Should Silent Retreat (Or retreat, at all)

I. 

OK, before we get down to Quick Taking, here's this week's writing: 

You Get What You Get

Hail Mary

And, since I'm going to be on retreat tomorrow--aka St. Therese's Feast Day--I give you: 

This post about her as my Confirmation Saint

II. 

OK, so anyway, this weekend, I'm going on a silent retreat. I go on a lot of these; I try to go on at least one a year. If I'm lucky, I get in two. But one a year is absolutely vital, and I think everyone should try to go on one, because they are awesome. 

But why are they awesome, Emily? Because they don't sound awesome to me. And I'm busy. I have Stuff. I have Life. I can't just go retreat!

OK, maybe you can't. But if you can, at all, you NEED TO!

III. 

Reason Number 1: SILENCE

OK, I know that this will make a lot of you run screaming for the hills. Silence? For a whole weekend? I can't do that. I have to talk! 

No, you don't. Trust me. Trust God. You really don't need to talk. You need to talk LESS (take it from a girl who used to get "refrains from unnecessary talking" marked as a need to improve area on every report card between grades 1-8. That's thirty two report cards, guys. )

God cannot talk to you if you're too busy yapping and watching Netflix and listening to Adelle and Facebooking and Face Timing and Messaging and Snapchatting and whatever else. I mean, he'll try. 

But if we take away all those distractions, all the talking, and we just sit and are quiet? It's a lot easier to hear God talking to you. 

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave.

---1 Kings 19:11-13

Yeah, sometimes God speaks in the thunder. But sometimes he's speaking in the quiet, and he's easy to miss. Make it quiet so you can hear him!

IV. 

Second: TOTAL focus on God

You have nothing to do in this retreat but be with God. That's it. You have nothing else to worry about. You are fed. You have a room that you don't have to clean. You have ample places to walk, to pray, and books to read, if you didn't bring your own. All you have to do is have quiet time with the Person Who Loves You The Most. (Yeah, that would be God.) You can do that however you want, as long as you don't break the silence. You can say the rosary. You can sit in the chapel and just stare at the tabernacle. You can go to confession. You can journal. You can read. WHATEVER. But the whole point is to grow in your spiritual relationship with God. 

Nothing stays stagnant. If you are staying stagnant, you're not growing. You're decaying. Think of flowers that don't blossom, or an apple tree that doesn't give apples. Something's wrong. You need to continually grow in the spiritual life. Retreats are a great way to do that. 

V. 

Third: New perspectives

Every retreat I've been on, there's been something new I've learned. Sometimes it's from the retreat master's talk. Sometimes it's from prayer in the chapel. Sometimes it's from a book I'm reading. But I always learn something new. 

VI.

Fourth: Refreshment

There is refreshment in retreat. Since life is stripped to the bare essentials, you don't feel like you have to be Chatty Cathy at the lunch table. You don't have to worry about laundry and cooking and all the other mundane things. You can just be. A retreat is fantastic self-care. You have to refresh yourself in order to continue growing. You need water just like a plant. A retreat is a great way to get that refreshment. 

VII.

Now, you don't need to do a silent retreat. They're my preferred retreats, because I find that I can really hear God best that way. But you can do retreats that let you talk. :) But some degree of quiet is important when it comes to retreat. They're meant to be introspective. You're meant to spend a fair amount of time on your soul and God and prayer. 

That being said, I also love Catholic Conferences, like the Columbus Catholic Women's Conference. Holy hours are also a great way to refresh yourself in the middle of life, if you can't get away for a weekend. 

But if you can, at all, I'd suggest trying  a weekend retreat. It might bear more fruit than you ever thought! 

You Get What You Get

or: why I wouldn't do genetic testing on my future spouse

"You get what you get and you don't get upset." I remember hearing that as a kid, and it's a pretty good philosophy when it comes to babies. It annoys me when people say that all they want is a "healthy" baby. So, if the baby is unhealthy, they don't want it anymore? Huh? 

Genetics are a tricky thing. For example, take a look at my family. If genetic worked the way it was supposed to, my siblings and I would be dark haired, dark eyed, and sort of olive complected. This is because we have a father who is 100% Italian. 

Instead: 

Two blondes, one redhead. Two blue-eyed girls, one hazel-eyed boy. 

Yeah. 

Genetics don't always work the way the Punnet Squares say, y'all. 

In a very large family, there was no history of CF. No history of babies or kids dying early from unexplained causes. Nothing that would lead to any sort of hint that I would have CF. And in the 80s, you didn't really do prenatal testing, especially in 1981, when my mom was pregnant with me. 

But now, there are more and more people with CF saying, get your spouse tested. In fact, do IVF, so that you can only "choose" embryos that don't have CF. Because, you know, why have a kid with CF? 

Um.....because that's what you get? 

Put in anything genetic. Put in Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Put in hemophilia. Whatever. Take your pick. But just because your genetic tests show that you're not a carrier for one thing, doesn't mean your kid won't have something else. 

Why do we want to eliminate people because they're not perfect? Why are we so afraid of having children that might not be perfect? 

I don't understand it. 

We have no idea if my siblings are carriers for CF. They would have to marry another carrier to have any risk of having a kid with CF (real quick lesson: two CF carriers have a kid--the kid has a 25% chance of having CF, 50% chance of being a carrier, and 25% chance of having nothing to do with CF, genetically, at all.). I don't know if my siblings want to know. But I would hope that they wouldn't be worried about this. 

Take what you get. Take any kids you may be blessed with as the gifts from God they are. Take them as they come. And be happy that you have that child. God works in mysterious ways. Maybe your imperfect child is supposed to make you holier. Maybe he's supposed to teach you something. Or maybe God just knows that you're the right parent for this kid, even if you're afraid to be. 

Be not afraid. Take what you get. And give thanks. 

Catholic 101: Hail Mary

No, not the football play. The woman. 

Some people think Catholics pay too much attention to Mary. But when you understand Mary from a Catholic perspective, you'll see that she deserves it! (I hope....)

We're going to break this up into two parts: One, Mary in our theology, and two, one of the great Catholic prayers--the rosary, which is a devotion to Mary and her Son. Really. I promise. And since October is the month of the rosary, talking about this during the first week of October is fitting. 

So let's get to it. 

At the most basic level: Mary is the mother of Jesus. When she said "Yes" to being God's mother (Lk. 1: 26-38), she became the most special woman in the world! How many other mothers does God have?

She also reversed Eve's disobedience, by being entirely obedient to the plan God had for her. Could Mary have said no? Yes. She had free will, like we all do. But she didn't. She said Yes.

And Jesus came into the world. 

Keep in mind that Jesus is both God and man. He gets his humanity from Mary. That's pretty awesome, right? 

Catholic doctrine holds that Mary was forever a virgin. So Jesus was her only child. We don't know much about her day to day life--the Bible is pretty silent about it. We can guess that she spent her life like most other wives and mothers in Nazareth--taking care of Jesus, taking care of the home, etc. It was a typical life of the people of her era. Of course, Jewish prayer and cultural traditions were vitally important in the home, including Jesus being presented to God in the temple (Lk 2:22-38). The Bible tells us that she and Joseph made the pilgrimage to Jerusalem for Passover at least once, when Jesus was twelve. (Lk 2: 41-52)

Tradition holds that Joseph died before Jesus reached manhood, so Mary was a widow when Jesus went to perform his public works for the last three years of his life. But she was present at His Death, where Jesus commended her into the care of the "beloved Apostle", St. John. (John 19:25-30) 

(Incidentally, this is another piece of evidence that Mary didn't have other children; if she had, then it would've been their job to take care of Mary, not John's.) 

Mary was also present on the Day of Pentecost. (Acts 2) Tradition, again, tells us that she died in Ephesus, in modern day Turkey, and that "Mary's House" can still be found there. 

Raphael, the "Sistine Madonna" 

So these are the basics of Mary's life, as the Bible and Sacred Tradition tell us. And based on all of that, the mother of God's son is a pretty important person, right? 

Catholics also believe two additional things about Mary: 

1) That she was born without original sin--The Immaculate Conception, celebrated Dec. 8 

2) That was assumed, body and soul, into Heaven--The Assumption, celebrated August 15

The first means that, before she was born, when she was conceived in her mother Ann's womb, God preserved her from original sin. That does not mean that she didn't need a savior. Mary was human, and like all humans, needed a savior! It means that God specially created her and prepared her for the role she would play in Salvation History. 

(That doesn't negate the fact that she has free will.)

This doctrine was accepted as far back as the fifth century, according to the documents we have, but was only defined infallibly in 1854. When something is defined as a dogma, it means that Catholics are obliged to believe it. So, since 1854, this has been the case. The Immaculate Conception and the Assumption are part of a very small collection of instances of papal infallibility. 

(Side note: A lot of non-Catholics think that we think the pope infallible every time he opens his mouth. Not true.) 

No, the Immaculate Conception cannot be proven. But last time I checked, we can't prove the Trinity, either. So...

The Assumption refers to the fact that Mary, being sinless at her conception and sinless her entire life, was assumed body and soul into heaven after her death. The idea of the Assumption has been around since the fourth century; the fact that no one has found, or ever noted, where Mary was buried, is another point in the doctrine's favor. If people knew that, there would definitely be a church there, and relics galore. But there's never been any evidence of the grave site. 

The dogmatic declaration of the Assumption only occurred in 1950,  so it's pretty "new" in that sense. But there is evidence that people believed in the Assumption, as I noted, in the early church. 

It's important to note here that Mary is not God.  Mary is very, very special. We do not worship Mary. To Catholics, worship is the Mass. The only person that Mass is offered to is...God. We don't say "Oh, Mary, accept our offering of bread and wine and change them into the body of your son" etc. etc. etc. 

Catholics have worship, but we also have reverence and devotion. We are devoted to Mary because she is the Mother of God. She was human, like us, and she lived through many difficult things: the death of her husband, the death of her son, fleeing her country because a crazy king wanted to kill her son, not to mention having to explain a miraculous conception to her husband. To Catholics, Mary is our mother, and we come to her like we would come to our moms here on Earth. 

Yes, our churches, more often than not, have statues of Mary, and pictures of her. She's one of the most common subjects in the history of art. Yes, we light candles before statues of her and statues of saints. But this isn't worship, to a Catholic. This is piety. This is prayer. We have pictures of her, and Jesus, and Joseph, and the saints, the same way people keep pictures of loved ones in their homes. We love them, and they're our examples and our helpers. When we ask for their prayers, we ask it the same way I would ask you blog readers to pray for me. Just because someone is dead doesn't mean they still don't exist. 

Mary is God's most brilliant creation. (Jesus doesn't count, because....he's GOD.) But she's also the humble, believing girl from Nazareth. And she loves us all, because we are brothers and sisters of her Son. So Catholics ask us to pray for her, and we honor her with hymns and paintings and feast days. But we don't worship her. She wouldn't want us to! Mary always, always points us to her Son. If we've forgotten about her Son, we're doing it wrong. But Jesus also wants us to remember his mother. It's a two-way thing. She wasn't just the body that bore him and took care of his physical needs. She was his Blessed Mother. 

The Fourth Commandment is "Honor thy father and mother." You can be sure that Jesus fulfilled this perfectly in His life. If we are to follow His example, then we are to honor His father and mother, as well. Being devoted to Mary doesn't mean being less devoted to Jesus. If anything, she brings us always closer to him. 

Next week, when we talk about the rosary, we'll see this practice in action. 

Seven Quick Takes No. 124: Describing Myself in 7 Fictional Characters

There was a meme on Instagram/Facebook this week, asking you to describe yourself in THREE fictional characters. I found that really difficult, but I did it! But I thought seven might be a more well-rounded image. So, here we go. The first three are obviously the ones I used for the meme. :) 

I. 

First up: Rapunzel, from Tangled. 

When Will My Life Begin

Mandy Moore

Besides the blonde hair (mine was NEVER as epic as hers, however), Rapunzel and I do have a lot in common. We both like to draw, paint, knit, read, and cook. We both love cast-iron skillets. But other than that, we both spent a lot of our lives waiting for something; in my case, waiting for transplant/better health. After my transplant, my life opened up in broad, broad strokes. It's been amazing the things I've done in the last 11 years that I couldn't have imagined in the first twenty-three. Rapunzel's life changes drastically once she gets out of the tower.  We both hesitate over leaving what is safe and known for the unknown (which could be a lot better, or a lot worse). 

We're also obedient. Both of us tend to believe that people want the best for us. We think that people always have good hearts. That's not always true--which we also find out. 

And I'd also like a chameleon as a sidekick. 

Second: Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables

No, I'm not an orphan. But Anne and I are both bubbly, somewhat intense personalities that you either like or you don't.  We both have big imaginations, are fiercely loyal friends, want to be writers, and generally want to make the world a better place. We have tempers! We also don't mind standing up for what we think is right. And we both may be a little bit dramatic. ;-) 

Third: Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice. 

Pride And Prejudice

Carl Davis

It was actually hard for me to pick one Austen Heroine. You'll see why in a bit. But I'm probably the most like Lizzy. We "take pleasure in many things", we like to laugh (especially about our neighbors' foibles). Wit, common sense, good conversation, and intelligence are important to us (and are to be cultivated in ourselves). We have a somewhat critical view of humanity. We both think that people should be more like us--to the exasperation of others.

 "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconstancy of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."
"My dear Lizzy, [said Jane] do not give way to such feelings as these...you do not make allowance enough for difference of situation and temper." 

We are both somewhat quick to judgment, and often have our judgments reversed on closer acquaintance. We also, though, both know what we want, and don't want to settle for anything less than that. 

Fourth: Lady Mary Crawley, Downton Abbey

OK, I realize that Lady Mary is not universally loved. And I will say I would not have made all of her choices (namely, screwing around at the hotel before getting married; Mister Pamuk.....). But that being said, I identify a lot with Mary.

We're both oldest children. We both want to be seen as women of substance, and not just pretty things. We are extremely stubborn and strong-willed. We have definite views of Right and Wrong. We can be a bit blunt. When the chips are down, we step up and do what we have to do to make sure everything comes out right--or at least, that the best possible outcome is achieved. Our softer side can be hard to find. We don't take any nonsense/whining. But sometimes, yeah, we have a little pity party and go up to our rooms. But then we bounce back and proceed to Set Things Right and Move On With Life. 

And sometimes our tempers/feelings get the better of us, and we have Very Bad Moments at the Breakfast Table.

Marianne, Margaret, and Elinor Dashwood

Fifth: Elinor Dashwood, (right) Sense and Sensibility

The Dreame

Jane Eaglen

I'm like Elinor in that I have a practical, logical side. I have an imagination and I like to daydream, but eventually, facts be facts, and we have to deal with them (same as with Lady Mary). Some things I tend to keep bottled up inside me, and I'm good at being in charge, even when I don't want to be. We can both be considered cold, when we're really just being practical/logical, or trying to protect ourselves, in a situation where love might be involved. (Also like Lady Mary. So really, Elinor, Lady Mary, and I could have a party.)   

Sixth: Eowyn, Lord of the Rings

The Houses of Healing (feat. Liv Tyler)

Howard Shore

Oh, Eowyn.  A lot of the time I feel like Eowyn is my spirit animal, in a sense. Both of us have been shaped by circumstances we wouldn't have selected. Both of us are brave (but we don't see bravery the same way--she desires great deeds, and I never really had that desire). We both want to prove ourselves to other people, and make people see us. And we will defend our family to the death! (Although I haven't had to prove this yet. Hopefully no Nazguls are waiting outside my door.....) 

Seven: Belle, Beauty and the Beast

Belle (Reprise)

Beauty & The Beast Cast

Obviously, the book thing. Devotion to family, and a willingness to help them out of tough spots (are you seeing a pattern here?). A craving for adventure and a big life. Temper when roused, and a mind of our own. A willingness to change our minds and opinions if the situation warrants it. A bit of curiosity killed the cat, as a flaw. But knowing what's the right thing to do, and doing it, even when we might not want to do it. 

So those are my seven. Who are yours? 

(honorable mentions: Marianne, Sense and Sensibility; Esther Summerson, Bleak House)

"Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance": Jane Austen and Married Soulmates

"'Well,' said Charlotte, 'I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to him to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness, as if she were to be studying his character for a twelve-month. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.'"

--Pride and Prejudice

The idea of "soulmates" is definitely a modern one. For the majority of human history, people viewed marriage under a much less romantic lens. 

This is sort of addendum to a post I wrote yesterday about marriage in the Church; but it's also something I've been thinking about for awhile, ever since I had a conversation with a friend about Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins. 

My friend's position was that Charlotte marrying Mr. Collins was a failing of the book; Why would Charlotte marry a man that she doesn't really like? That's just ridiculous! Jane messed up. 

But what Pride and Prejudice--and to extent, almost all of Jane's books--illustrates is that women didn't, generally, marry for love. It was nice if you could do it. But single women were really limited in what they could do, without a husband. They couldn't own property. They had really no say in a court of law. If they weren't married, their fathers were in charge. If their fathers were dead, then their brothers were in charge. If you did marry for love, you were Super Special--and possibly, super odd. 

Jane knew, very vividly, what this was like. She made the decision not to marry for anything other than love, but that meant that she was at the mercy of her brothers, after her father died. Fortunately, the Austen men were good sorts of men, and took good care of Jane, her sister Cassandra, and her mother.  They were lucky, and Jane knew it; you can see it in her fiction. The Dashwoods' brother is not nearly as kind to his sisters. 

 Charlotte Lucas is older than Lizzie (who is almost 21), which plays a part in her deciding to marry Mr. Collins. She's probably feeling the need to get married soon, before all the guys are taken. With a husband, she's off her father and brothers' hands. She's provided for; she has some station in the world. Even though she's the daughter of a knight, she won't inherit anything at Lucas Lodge. It will all go to her brothers. Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice both show what happens when an estate is "entailed away from the female line." The reason Mrs. Bennet wants Lizzie to marry Mr. Collins is so the house can stay in the family--when Mr. Bennet dies, as he says, Mr. Collins could "throw [them] all out, if he chooses." Yes, that's right--Mrs. Bennet, and all of her unmarried daughters, would be out of their house, if the new owner so chose to do that. 

Marianne, Elinor, and Margaret Dashwood are essentially being helped by another male relative, Sir John Middleton. The money their father left them and their mother is quite a small sum, and they lost their home, Norland. They weren't poor, but without Sir John's help, they very well might have been. And keep in mind that women couldn't really "earn" a living. Look at Miss Bates in Emma. She and her mother aren't Dickensian, but they're also not really genteel, either. They're poor enough that Emma takes them food and clothes and things like that. 

Fanny Price's family could be Dickensian. They are very clearly poor. Her father wastes any money he gets, and it's only because Mrs. Price begs her sister, Lady Bertram, to take Fanny, that Fanny has any chance. Mrs. Price "married for love", and it's not a recommendation she makes to her daughter. She would like to see Fanny marry Henry Crawford. 

In Jane Austen's England, love was a secondary question.  It's lucky that all of Jane's heroines do end happily--but the risk of that not happening is very close, all the time. None of them, except Emma, is independently wealthy. Emma is the only one who could really choose to stay single. Marianne, Margaret, Elinor, Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty, Lydia, Fanny, Harriet, and Anne all have to either get married, or be dependent on the whims of their male relations. 

Emma and Sir John Knightley

It's important, when reading Jane, or the Brontes,  Dickens, or even Outlander, to remember that their world is not our world. There was a very different code that governed lives and society.  In Outlander, Jamie says that a good husband is one who doesn't beat or starve his wife. That's what's a "good" husband in 18th century Scotland is. Jane Eyre's pluck is sort of risky--she could very easily have alienated, instead of entranced, Mr. Rochester. And if Lizzy and Darcy's feelings for each other hadn't changed, Lizzy would've been in a pickle, as she says, somewhat laughingly, to Jane: "I may in time meet with another Mr. Collins!" 

There's also the question of class, which is raised in P&P. "He is a gentleman, I am a gentleman's daughter, thus far we are equal," Lizzy says to Lady Catherine near the end of P&P. "But who is your mother? Who are your uncles and aunts?" Lady C shoots back. Lizzie's father may be a gentleman, but the fact that her one uncle is a lawyer, and one is in trade, doesn't bode well for Lizzie's social standing. 

In an "ideal" marriage, everything would match--fortune, social standing, breeding, etc. That doesn't mean that they'll be happy together; look at Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. But the important thing to remember is that the idea of "soulmates" isn't something that was common for most of human history, as we can see in the history of the period, as well as in the fiction. 

Edmund and Fanny 

Catholic 101: Matrimony

Here we are, the last entry in the sacraments series! Yay! (OK, that's probably what y'all are saying.....:-P)

Matrimony is, after baptism, probably the most "secular" sacrament. What do I mean by that? 

People will have their babies baptized/dedicated/christened, even if they're not religious people. When I saw the latest Bridge Jones movie, I noticed that all the characters had their babies christened (Bridget remarks that she has tons of godchildren), even if the characters, themselves, were not extremely churchgoing, pious folk. It's like the thing you do. You have a baby, you christen it. That's that. 

Marriage is very similar to this. I've been to weddings where people church-shopped beforehand, looking for a "pretty" place to get married--not because they, themselves, were extremely devout, but, you know, one gets married in a church. (And, needless to say, a PRETTY church.) 

On the face of it, marriage is easy to explain. Man, woman. Vows. Rings. Consummation. Marriage!

Um....well, sort of. 

In the Catholic church, marriage is for life. Meaning, you don't get divorced because of "irreconcilable differences." That does not mean, however, that if you're married to an addict, or an abuser, that you need to stay in the marriage. We aren't idiots and we're not ridiculous. But anything short of serious issues isn't grounds for annulment. I'm not a canonist, and I don't play one on TV, so I don't know all the ins and outs of annulment. However, there are appropriate reasons to get one. And that isn't the same as divorce. An annulment means that there was some impediment that existed, which kept the marriage from becoming sacramentally valid. (I think. If I'm wrong, I'm sure one of my clergy readers will tell me.and indeed, one has! See note at the end!) 

Anyway!

So, marriage. Man, woman. Priest. MARRIAGE PREP. 

Since marriage is for life, the church does its utmost best to ensure that he couple is aware of issues that could arise, and that they know how they want to deal with said issues. The infamous "survey" that you have to fill out--it's hundreds of questions--during marriage prep is meant to do that. The Church doesn't want to marry couples where the parties involved have no idea how the other feels on raising the kids, finances, how to resolve arguments, etc. The Church wants to prepare you. This is done in two ways--one, by meeting several times with the priest who will marry the couple, and two, by Pre-Cana.

I have been in nine weddings, and attended almost 20. I'm sort of a wedding pro. My brother, who has stats to rival my own (his might be even better....he's been in a LOT of weddings) and I should just open a wedding consultancy. BUT.....

however much the wedding prep is fun ("Beige roses, or ivory roses?  Do we want Bach or Purcell for the processional? WHAT COLOR WILL THE TABLECLOTHS BE?!"), it's not the point. You don't get married to throw a big party. You get married because you want to spend your life with this person, you love this person, and you are going to grow in holiness with this person. 

The Anglican rite actually does a good job talking about this, as illustrated in the ONLY Pride and Prejudice: 

"Reverently, soberly...." etc. 

A  lot of people today aren't doing this reverently and soberly. 

So in the Church, we try to keep it that way. 

An interesting bit about the sacrament is that the priest doesn't, technically, marry the people. Remember how we've been talking about matter and form? In matrimony, the form is the exchange of vows. The matter is the people--the man and the woman--and for a marriage to be valid, it needs to be consummated. Yes, that's right. 

SEX, people.

If you're an Outlander fan, you remember that Dougal said he wanted "this marriage consummated with no doubt whatsoever." Hence, Claire and Jamie's rather awkward start to their wedding night:

I barely know you, so....why don't we talk first. And have a drink. Or five. 

(You will remember, true fans, that Jamie is marrying Claire to save her from being abused at the hands of the Evil Redcoat Captain. Let us remember that, for most of human history, marriage wasn't about "twue wuv." It was about lots of other things.) 

So the marriage is man and woman, and it must be consummated. 

People say that the church doesn't like to talk about sex, but really, the church has such great respect for it that we do talk about it. Quite a bit. Pope John Paul II devoted a good chunk of his papacy to it.  Yes, that's right. A Pope talked for more than 100 weeks about sex. 

Think about that for a second. (It wasn't just sex. It was marriage and personhood in general.) 100 weeks is almost two full years. 

This is the main reason the church doesn't allow artificial birth control. In marriage, the couple participates in God's creative life. Seriously. They work with God to bring new life into the world. That's pretty cool, right? 

One of the points of marriage  (as said in the P&P video above) is the procreation of kids. It always has been. It always will be. Now, that does not mean that if you are infertile, that you can't get married. But it does mean that in general, that's one of the points of marriage--to have kids. 

No, that doesn't mean that the church sees women as brood mares or rabbits. You can limit the number of children you have. But it should be done prudently and using Natural Family Planning. 

There are 5,000,000,000 resources out there about NFP and the Catholic view of marriage. You can google it. I'm trying to go into a bit here, but really, it's just so rich that its scope is beyond a mere blog post. 

The big takeaway here is that God sees human love as good, and even sacred. That's right. It's holy, people. That's why we take it so seriously, because to treat holy things as if they're not holy is sacrilege. Which is a sin. (Which is also why we object to pre and extra marital sex. Sex can only legally occur between the married partners--Wife, Husband. Not Wife A with Husband B, or girlfriend/boyfriend.) 

So, while the party, and the dress, and the cake ( we can't forget about the cake), are all nice things, they're not the point of marriage. 

One of the reasons the Church has marriage as a sacrament is because marriage is hard. The Church recognizes that. That's why the couple needs the sacramental grace that is received! Grace is helpful. (Understatement of the year, right there....) Grace isn't a magic wand, but it does make something that's humanly really hard somewhat easier. 

Essentially: Be like Lizzie and Darcy and Jane and Bingley. Don't be like Lydia and Wickham. Don't be like Humperdinck! (Especially not like that!) Do that, and you'll be on the road to a fairly successful marriage. 

Addendum: 

As I thought, one of my clergy readers chimed in on annulments: 

"Annulments are given when one or both spouses didn't consent to the marriage (that's why Buttercup was never married to Humperdinck!), or, as you mentioned, there was an impediment. "

The magic of books

I've loved reading my entire life. My mom says that the only things that could keep me quiet were books and The Wizard of Oz. Some of my favorite memories revolve around curling up in the elementary school library and reading books by the window for what seemed like hours, but it couldn't have been that long. I would've gotten in trouble. :) Instead of bringing toys to school, I smuggled my latest book, and read it under my desk when I should've been paying attention to what the teacher was saying. But really, my book was so much better. 

I read Little House in the Big Woods in first grade, and from then on, I never really stopped reading. Little Women in third grade, the rest of the Little House Books, Anne of Green Gables, Number the Stars, Marguerite Henry's horse novels (which my friend Anne brought me as a gift after my CF diagnosis. We were horse crazy when we were 11 and had gone to horse day camp the summer before.). I was perfectly happy to read Misty of Chincoteague while I did breathing treatments. 

The Giver, The Diary of Anne Frank...those were what we read in eight grade during our Holocaust unit, and we read Night, too. I didn't like diagramming sentences, but I loved analyzing words and characters and form. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe opened me up to the universe of C.S. Lewis. 

In high school I continued reading just about everything. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Les Miserables, Beowulf, Of Mice and Men, Shakespeare, Animal Farm....the books continued rolling out in front of me. Most of my allowance money went to buying books. I read Memoirs of a Geisha when I was fourteen, down in my grandmother's basement, on the sly, because she didn't think it was appropriate for me to read. 

I didn't discover Jane until after high school--sadly, we didn't have to read her. But once I did, I was hooked. I began reading and underlining. I collected all the Oxford University Press editions. I read Mansfield Park for the first time in the hospital, writing notes in the margins with my unibal pen. In fact, every hospitalization involved brining lots of books. I discussed The Poisonwood Bible with one of my doctors, once. Nurses would come in and ask me if Jane Eyre was really good hospital reading. To me it was. 

Whenever I go on vacation, I bring tons of books. I've read Possession at Disney World by the Yacht Club pool, as well as A Dance of Dragons.  I read Agnes Gray during tech week for Ragtime, and House Like a Lotus during Hello, Dolly! 

Some books, like the Outlander series, I've read so many times I've had to replace certain copies. The same thing happened with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. 

Books are never-ending sources of entertainment and enjoyment. I've read every single book I own at least twice. Books correspond to my mood, the seasons, and certain places. Every book has a memory in it, not just of the characters and plot, but of the first time I met them. 

For me, there really is nothing better than a new book, or a new copy of a beloved one. ( I have at least five copies of Pride and Prejudice.) 

I love to give books to kids, hoping that one book will spark the magic of reading in them. Few things are better than sharing beloved books with my friends, and comparing notes on them. 

If you aren't a reader, I encourage you to keep looking for that book that will inspire you to read. Even if it isn't my beloved Jane. :) 

Why "powering through" illness is a bad idea

Not a good idea when you're sick 

Hillary Clinton is in the news, not because of her presidential campaign, but because she has pneumonia. Apparently, she's been sick for awhile, but the official diagnosis came from her doctors/her campaign yesterday. 

There was a lot of talk on Twitter (and I presume elsewhere on social media) about how women just "power through" illness. "We do lots of things when we're sick!" women were saying. "We're awesome like that!" 

Well, actually, no, ladies. It's not awesome. Trust me. 

I did a fair amount of "powering through" for the first 23 years of my life. And no, I wasn't running for president. I was trying to be as "normal" as possible. That meant school, extracurriculars, summer jobs. I went to school when I had a noncontagious form of TB and was falling asleep in my first period class because I was so tired. I had a summer job the summer after I almost died and spent two weeks in the ICU. I was so desperate to sing in my college choir's big Christmas Festival that I went from the hospital, to class, and then back to the hospital because I finally realized that, yes, I was way too sick to be in class, much less perform in a three-hour concert. 

There were times my college boyfriends had to almost hold me down to keep me from going to sorority meetings, or Student Government events. 

Some of this pigheaded Irish determination was a good thing. It kept me involved, it kept me active, and I had a great time in college. But some of it was really bad. I didn't know when to stop. I worked up until the weekend before my transplant. Seriously. I had to drag myself out of bed every single day, but I was there at my office. The only time I wasn't was when I was in the hospital. I might have come in a little later in the morning, but I was there. 

After my transplant, this all changed. Partially because I was much more susceptible to illness, including getting illnesses from other people. I had to learn to say No to going to things when sick people were there. I told my friends that if someone was at a party and that person was sick, I wasn't going to go. 

I had to make sure I got enough sleep. This is huge for me. I realized that I needed 8-9 hours of sleep every night. I definitely had not been getting that. And when I was sick, I needed to be sick--and not "power through." Because powering through only made it worse. 

I had pneumonia this past winter. I was in the hospital for almost a week, and it took me more than a month to recover when I was back home. Pneumonia kills millions of people a year. It's a nasty, nasty bug. And yes, I'm more susceptible to it, and always have been. But people over 65 are in the high-risk group, too--and Hillary Clinton is 68.  

Pneumonia isn't something that you can "power through." There is "walking" pneumonia--a milder case of it. But it's something that requires rest, and lots of it. You feel like you've been run over by a truck. It's Not Fun at all. And if you don't rest appropriately, then guess what? It lasts longer. 

Ladies, we have to stop "powering through." The world isn't going to end if we're sick. (OK, this might be different if you're the President. Or, even, Secretary of State.) But that's two people in the world. Listen to your body, and give it what it needs! Let yourself heal! Don't put yourself--and others--at risk for being sick. Do the counter-cultural thing, and take care of yourself. 

It's not easy. I know that. I spent 23 years resisting this entire idea. "I can rest when I'm dead!" 

Well, if you don't take care of yourself, you're going to be doing that sooner rather than later. 

Catholic 101: Holy Orders

A continuation of the Catholic 101 series

We're down to the penultimate sacrament: Holy Orders. Next week we end the Sacraments mini-series with Matrimony. 

So these last two sacraments are called the sacraments of vocation. Holy Orders, obviously, is the vocation to the priesthood; Matrimony is to the vocation of married life. 

Holy Orders and Matrimony are both fairly simple to explain. What's harder is the theology that undergirds it, but we're not going to get too deep in that, here. We're sticking with the basics. (Maybe I'll offer Catholic 202 at some point. I kill me.:-P ) (And, please do not litter the comment box with attacks on priests, etc.) 

Holy Orders can only be given once, and it's done by a bishop (or higher--some priests are ordained by the pope!). The form  is the laying on of hands; the matter is the prayer said by the bishop. 

The sacrament is open only to men in the Catholic Church--and single men, at that. We stick with this because that's what Jesus did; the 12 apostles were all men. All priests vow to remain celibate for their entire lives. 

There are two types of priests: a diocesan priest, or a religious order priest. A diocesan priest is what you're probably most familiar with--he's a priest who serves within a diocese, a specific geographic area. A priest of a religious order, on the other hand, like the Dominicans, can serve anywhere the order sends them. I know Dominican priests who are stationed abroad, who are sent to study in various parts of the world, who are assigned to universities, or who are assigned as chaplains to monasteries of nuns. There's a lot of variety there. Diocesan priests can also be teachers, etc. but they will stay within a certain geographic area. 

Diocesan priests do not make vows, technically. Vows are made by members of religious orders. They do promise to obey their bishop and to live in chastity. 

Priests of religious orders also take different vows, depending on said order. Dominicans, for example, only verbally take the vow of obedience, when they are professed. Everything is included in that vow, including poverty and chastity. Benedictines take four vows; Franciscans take a special vow of poverty; etc. Religious orders also have their specific habits. 

As we know, priests are the only people who can consecrate the Eucharist, hear confessions, perform several of the sacraments, among other things. The course of study is quite long; an undergraduate degree, followed by four years of seminary, for diocesan priests. For religious, it can be even longer--Jesuit formation, for example, takes ten to eleven years, and Dominican formation is at least seven. Why does it take longer? Because the men aren't just becoming priests, but they're also joining an order with a specific charism, way of life, etc.  

It's not something a man undertakes lightly. Priesthood is for life (unless you're laicized--that's the term, not "defrocked"). As a priest, he is in charge of al the souls in his parish. That's a big responsibility. A priest can be called to serve at any time, day or night. A Mass cannot be said without a priest, because only a priest can perform the consecration that transforms bread and wine into the Eucharist. 

One of the things Catholics should do is pray that God will give us many holy priests, because without them, we're in bad shape. 

Priests aren't perfect. Duh. They're human. The sacrament doesn't magically transform you into a different person. Grace has to be cooperated with; it's not a magic wand. So yes, there are priests who aren't great at administrative things, who don't give good homilies, who can't sing, who are gruff in the confessional, etc. They're not perfect. But they have a very important job.  So pray for them! 

The Dominican friars in formation for the U.S. Eastern Provence. 

Side note: All men who enter the Dominican order don't have to become priests. They can also become cooperator brothers. 

Go Read!: International Literacy Day

Or, where I give you a list of Books To Read. 

This isn't a list of Favorite Books; it's more like what I would call a list of books you need to read to be a Well-Rounded Reader. As in, read these books before you die. Use your ability to read!!!!! 

27% of American Adults didn't read a single book last year. 

Seriously, guys? 

STOP IT! 

Read books!

(OK, it's not World Book Day today, but this works anyway.) 

I would prefer you read good books, and not trash. But.....

So, without further ado: the list. In no particular order. 

1. All of Jane. This is non-negotiable. Do it now. NOOOOOOWWWW!
2. The Odyssey and the Iliad, Homer
3. The Canterbury Tales (or at least a few of the tales), Chaucer
4. Beowulf
5. Dante's Divine Comedy. The whole thing, not just Inferno. 
6. Paradise Lost, Milton
7. A Christmas Carol, A Tale of Two Cities, and either David Copperfield or Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. 
8. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
9. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
10. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck 
11. Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth. Then I'd add As You Like It and King Lear. And Midsummer Night's Dream. And....oh, Henry III for the histories representation. Everyone knows the first line. Or should. 
12. Anna Karenina, Tolstoy. Much more accessible than War and Peace. 
13. The Brothers Karamazov, Doestoevsky
14. The Gargoyle, by Andrew Davidson (one of my favorite modern novels)
15. Either My Antonia or O, Pioneers!, Willa Cather
16. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
17. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
18. The Importance of Being Earnest, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde
19. Mrs. Dalloway, The Voyage Out or To The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf 
20. The Narnia books, CS Lewis
21. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, JRR Tolkien
22. The Little House series, Laura Ingalls Wilder
23. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte 
24. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
25. Dracula, Bram Stoker 
26. The Diary of Anne Frank 
27. Emily Dickinson's poetry
28. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte (even if the ending drives me nuts) 
29. Number the Stars and The Giver, Lois Lowry 
30. Uncle Tom's Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe
31. The Confessions, St. Augustine
32. The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum. (Just the first one, at least.) 
33. The Age of Innocence, Edith Wharton. 
34. Night, Eli Wiesel

Now, I know some of you are going to have Questions. So here are some answers: 

* I tried to be as diverse as possible here, but I realize this list is really Euro-centric. Sorry. My specialty in college was British Literature, so that's what I know best, and Western Lit, in general, really does play into a lot of our cultural references and touch points. I am working on reading more Asian lit--I have read The Pillow Book, and I'd love to read Tale of Genji, but that's an Expensive Book. :) So....eventually. 

African Literature wasn't offered when I was in college, I don't think, so I'm falling down here too. I apologize. 

*No French authors? I don't really like French authors. I did like The Plague, by Camus, but....I don't think it's a book people MUST read. I've read Les Miserables and Notre-Dame de Paris (better known as The Hunchback of Notre-Dame), but, again....Notre-Dame has some great descriptions, but it sort of drags. Les Miz also has excellent parts, but again, DRAGS IN OTHERS. (Waterloo section, I'm looking at you.) However, if you wanted to read French authors, I'd suggest Les Miserables and Madame Bovary. Get an UNABRIDGED copy of Les Miserables, please!

*No Spanish authors? Sorry. They aren't my thing. I tried, and failed, to read Don Quixote. 

Summer Reading: August

Here's the last installment of the 2016 Summer Reading Wrap--but I'll keep doing these. I'll just need to come up with a new image. :) 

(I generally only include new books in this, unless I re-read a book that I really liked and want to recommend.) 

• The Winthrop Woman, by Anya Seton: Historical fiction. This one started off well: Elizabeth Winthrop is the troublesome niece of John Winthrop, one of the leading figures in the founding of the Massachusetts Bay Colony (now the state of Massachusetts). Elizabeth isn't really "troublesome" in a 21st century sense, but certainly, for her time, she was, and especially when considered in the light of her Puritan uncle, who insisted on proper behavior at all times from anyone connected with his family.
  The novel starts when Elizabeth is a child in England, and I really enjoyed this section. Once she arrived in the New World, though, it lost momentum and became pretty tedious. The story essentially became, Elizabeth gets married; Elizabeth has children; Elizabeth does Something Shameful--Or Is Seen as Shameful by her Dour Neighbors--; Elizabeth Flees; Elizabeth's husband dies/goes crazy; cycle starts again. I had to force myself to finish this, and there was a lot of skimming as I neared the end. 
   
• Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Niequest: I didn't realize, at first, that this was a series of essays. I thought it would be a little more cohesive. So that colored my first reading of the book. I'm re-reading it now, though, and knowing that it's essays, and not just one big manuscript, is helpful. The title sums up the premise: Niequest says that we don't need to be perfect people; we need to be present to the people in our lives, and stop worrying so much about making sure everything is....perfect. It's a good premise and she writes about it well. 
   
• Cannery Row, John Steinbeck: Since flying over Steinbeck Country (Salinas, CA) in April on the way to Los Angeles, I knew I wanted to read this. Salinas is gorgeous (at least, what I saw of it was). Cannery Row focuses on the people in Monterey, California, during the Great Depressions. It's a series of stories, essentially--there's no overarching theme. But the people of Cannery Row are funny, very human, and sometimes heartbreakingly earnest. One of his better works, I think. 
   
• The Sign of Jonah, Thomas Merton: I'd read The Seven Storey Mountain, but that's all the Merton I've read, probably because I'd heard he was a bit "odd"--his Asian visits and dabbling in Asian spiritual practices, etc.--and more political than religious. But this was a big change. The Sign of Jonah  details five years in his early life at Gethsemani Abbey, and in it, his love of prayer, of saying the Mass, and of solitude is tremendously evident. It's full of rich insights and it's great spiritual reading. This is a side of Merton I'd never really heard about, and it was great to discover it by accident. (Thanks, Goodreads Recommendations!)
   
• On the Other Side of Fear, Hallie Lord: Full disclosure: I love Hallie. I really do. I was lucky enough to meet her, and be interviewed by her, at the 2015 Edel Gathering, and she is a sweet, sweet lady. So I was already pre-disposed to love her book. 
  But it's good on its own merits. Hallie writes about learning to trust in God, and how that's harder than it actually sounds--and how fear keeps us from peace. We have to learn to trust and rest in God. It's a short book, but a really good one, and reading it is just like having a cup of coffee with Hallie. It's a keeper!
   

Uninvited, Lysa Terkeurst:  (Wow, I did a lot of spiritual/religious reading this month....) Uninvited discusses one of the things all women deal with: Rejection. Starting at a very young age, we know if we're in the "cool" crowd or not--who plays with us at recess? Who invited us to her birthday party? As we grow up, this doesn't change, it just takes different forms. Rejection happens to us all the time. So, how do we deal with it? 

Terkeurst does a great job writing about this incredibly painful phenomenon, and the tendency to take rejection as a personal statement on your worth.  She also talks about something that I've noticed is pretty true, but very few women discuss, because it's not pretty: desperately wanting something other women have. "We all desperately want something that we see the Lord giving to other women. We see Him blessing them in the very areas He's withholding from us," she writes. "We look at them, and we feel set aside." Man, is that ever true. I've felt that way, on and off, since I was about seventeen. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine and her sister about this very topic. "Why," I said, "has God given me talents and desires if He doesn't want me to use them, or have these good things?" 

I underlined a lot of this book. There are sticky notes poking out of it like porcupine quills. I actually finished this book right before a week in my life that was pretty hard, and I'm convinced that reading this, and having these truths in mind, helped soften that week, in the ways it could be softened. I highly recommend this. 

• Beach Music, Pat Conroy: I'm a big Pat Conroy fan. Since reading The Great Santini last summer (I picked it up when I was in Charleston), I've read almost all of his books, and I'm sort of sad about that, since he died earlier this year, and that means no more new Pat Conroy books. 
  Beach Music is typical Conroy, in that autobiographical elements form a large part of the story's base; in this case, it's the death of his mother from leukemia, which, in Beach Music, is the catalyst that gets the protagonist Jack McCall to come back to South Carolina, from his refuge in Italy. Jack took his daughter, Lila, to Italy after his wife, Shyla, committed suicide, and he's sworn that he wants nothing to do with anything in South Carolina. 
  
  Like all of his novels, the dark side of it is balanced with a huge helping of humor, here provided by Jack's brothers and some of his mother's more amusing antics. If you're new to Conroy, I highly recommend him--time with his novels is always time well spent. Do NOT base your opinion of his novels on the movies. Prince of Tides, for example, is a much, much, much richer book than the movie would lead you to believe. 

Catholic 101: Anointing of the Sick

The second of the Sacraments of Healing (Confession being the other), Anointing of the Sick used to be called "Extreme Unction", or, more commonly in TV/movie world, "last rites." But recently its applications have been expanded beyond those who are in immediate danger of death. 

"Extreme Unction," Rogier van der Weyden 

The Sacrament can be used in a variety of applications: 

1. For people who, indeed, are in danger of death. 
2.  Before major surgery (major being the operative word.) 
3. People who are older/infirm/have chronic illnesses that put them in danger of death  (for example, I used to get anointed a lot, due to epilespy/CF...my parents were big on me receiving the sacrament whenever it was offered. I wasn't quite so big on it. But I digress.) 

Anointing, like Confession, is used a lot in the media because it's a rather dramatic sacrament. Or, at least, it tends to happen in dramatic circumstances. For example, Outlander used it in season 2, after Claire miscarried Baby Faith. 

A scene from Outlander, Season 2, "Faith", right before Claire (Caitrione Balfe) receives anointing. 

The benefits of anointing, according to the Catechism, are: 

1520 A particular gift of the Holy Spirit. the first grace of this sacrament is one of strengthening, peace and courage to overcome the difficulties that go with the condition of serious illness or the frailty of old age. This grace is a gift of the Holy Spirit, who renews trust and faith in God and strengthens against the temptations of the evil one, the temptation to discouragement and anguish in the face of death. This assistance from the Lord by the power of his Spirit is meant to lead the sick person to healing of the soul, but also of the body if such is God's will. Furthermore, "if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven."

1521 Union with the passion of Christ. By the grace of this sacrament the sick person receives the strength and the gift of uniting himself more closely to Christ's Passion: in a certain way he is consecrated to bear fruit by configuration to the Savior's redemptive Passion. Suffering, a consequence of original sin, acquires a new meaning; it becomes a participation in the saving work of Jesus.

1522 An ecclesial grace. the sick who receive this sacrament, "by freely uniting themselves to the passion and death of Christ," "contribute to the good of the People of God." By celebrating this sacrament the Church, in the communion of saints, intercedes for the benefit of the sick person, and he, for his part, though the grace of this sacrament, contributes to the sanctification of the Church and to the good of all men for whom the Church suffers and offers herself through Christ to God the Father.

1523 A preparation for the final journey. If the sacrament of anointing of the sick is given to all who suffer from serious illness and infirmity, even more rightly is it given to those at the point of departing this life; so it is also called sacramentum exeuntium (the sacrament of those departing).The Anointing of the Sick completes our conformity to the death and Resurrection of Christ, just as Baptism began it. It completes the holy anointings that mark the whole Christian life: that of Baptism which sealed the new life in us, and that of Confirmation which strengthened us for the combat of this life. This last anointing fortifies the end of our earthly life like a solid rampart for the final struggles before entering the Father's house. 

It's sort of a Grand Slam of Sacraments: Confession, Anointing, and, if possible, the Eucharist is given. I received anointing before my transplant surgery, but I couldn't receive the Eucharist because I wasn't allowed to eat anything. (I was sort of irritated by this.) The person is anointed with the Oil of the Sick while the priest says certain prayers. The oil is the matter of the sacrament, and the prayer is the form. 

Biblical support for this sacrament can be found in the book of James, chapter 5, verse 14: "Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint [him] with oil in the name of the Lord." 

This is one of the reasons it's important to put your religious affiliation on any hospital admission forms; that way, if worst comes to worst, medical people know who to call. Every hospital I've been in has had a Catholic chaplain around to give the sacraments and provide spiritual counsel , etc. 

In my experience it's a rather peaceful sacrament. Many churches offer Anointing at least once a year for people with chronic illness, for older members of the congregation, etc. 

Seven Quick Takes No. 123: Celebrating Mother Teresa's Canonization

I. 

two saints in a photograph: Pope St. John Paul II and Mother Teresa. 

Since Mother Teresa is being canonized on Sunday, I thought today I'd put up seven Mother Teresa quotes. Enjoy!

II. 

III. 

IV. 

V. 

VI. 

VII. 

Interview with Tiffany Part Three

21. Best. Movie. Ever: The Wizard of Oz.  Closely followed by Pride and Prejudice. (And if you have to ask me which version, then You Don't Know Me.) 

22. Favorite thing about my family: We have a wacky sense of humor, especially when we're all together. 

23. Least favorite thing about your family: The inability to plan things. I like a plan.  

24. Favorite color: Blue. It's Tiffany's, too. (As seen in the photo above)

25. What TV show would you like to act on: If Downton was still on, that would be my answer. Since it's not: Outlander! And actually, Outlander might beat Downton by a smidge. 

26. How do you define success: Getting to Heaven. That's success. Loving well, doing good, and growing in faith. 
At the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore calls Cedric a "fierce, fierce friend." I've always liked that line an that's another definition of success to me, in the friendship realm, anyway. 

27. What is your dream job? Well, it's to be a writer. So, really, I just have to get published, and then I'll have the dream job. :) But one that's not entirely practical? Acting. 

28. Would you want to win the lottery, and what would you do with the money?: I probably wouldn't want to win the lottery, because most of those folks don't seem to end well/ be happy. But if I did win, I'd buy a house, then travel all around the world to all the places I want to see. And I'd buy every good book in creation. 

And then I'd probably give it to monasteries and churches and hospitals. And my parents would get some of it, of course.