Emily M. DeArdo

Emily M. DeArdo

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Interview with Tiffany Part Two

funEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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And we roll on....

11. What dead person would you like to meet if they were alive now? JANE, OBVIOUSLY. Other than Jane: My paternal grandfather, who died before I was born, and St. Pope John Paul II. 

12. Do you like licorice?: Not black licorice. Red. But is red really licorice? 

13. If you could have one superpower what would it be?: Telepathy.

14. Team Captain America or Iron Man?: Captain America, but I love Iron Man's sarcasm. 

15. Do you have a Fairy Godmother?: Well, I have a real godmother, who is cool. 

16. Do you wish you could fly?: YES. Oh my gosh.....

17. Favorite subject in school: English. History/ Social Studies (whatever it was called) is a close second. 

18. Least favorite subject in school: MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH

19. What's the funniest thing a kid has said to you?: From CCD, when I asked what a kid was drawing: 

"A SEA MONSTER! HE'S GOING TO EAT ALL THE PEOPLE!"

20. What's the funniest thing you remember saying as a kid?: I don't actually remember saying this, but my parents say that when I was two or so, I was waiting for a blood draw, where I dramatically announced that I smelled blood. So, you know. 

 

Interview with Tiffany, Part One

funEmily DeArdoComment

I have decided that we need some levity here. We need something fun. 

Enter Tiffany. 

Tiffany is one of my bestest friends. We have been friends since 1996, if you can believe it, so, holy cow--20 years. Like, today, really, since we met on the first day of Freshman year of high school. 

So, in order to have fun and in order to mark 20 years of Awesome, Tiffany asked me a whole bunch of questions. So many, in fact, that I have to break them into installments. So we're going to have fun for the next few days. 

1. Grapefruit vs. cantaloupe: Neither. I can't eat grapefruit because it messes with immunosuppression dugs, and I don't like cantaloupe.

2. Which Bond film is the best: Skyfall. 

3. Which James Bond is the best: Daniel Craig. (Sage loved Bond, and I don't think she agreed with me on this, when we discussed this. But full disclosure, I haven't seen ALL the Bond movies, so....)

4. What I miss most about high school: Lunch period. I loved having that time with my friends and just getting to mess around. And choir. 

5. What I miss most about college: Student Government and choir. 

6. Cats vs. dogs: Well, we never had pets when I was growing up, with the one year randomness of Snowball The Guinea Pig notwithstanding. Generally, I would probably say dogs at this point, because I can be around them. Cats are a little trickier. However, I love my sister's cat, Bella. She's a very nice cat. 

7. What will you ask God first when you get to heaven: Why wasn't "thou shalt not be stupid" the 11th commandment? 

8. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate? Generally, dark. 

9.  Best Disney quote: Good Heaven, we'll be here all day....and she knows that. So here's some fun ones: "Just keep swimming!" 

"It looks awful."
"That's because it's on you, dear."

"Fold? Oh well."

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere/ I want it more than I can tell./ And for once it might be grand/ to have someone understand /I want so much more than they've got planned."

"Have you got anything new?"
"Not since yesterday!"
"That's all right. I'll borrow this one."
"That one? But you've read it twice?"

"You were my new dream."

"Look at this stuff? Isn't it neat?" (the whole song then continues.....)

"The tank is clean! THE TANK IS CLEAN!"

"Suivez-moi!" 

10. How do you get rid of hiccups: Holding my breath. 

 

 

Catholic 101: Confession

Catholic 101Emily DeArdo1 Comment

It's time for the BIG SCARY SACRAMENT!

CONFESSSSSSSSSION. 

OK, it's not really that scary. 

But everyone seems to be afraid of it. So, let's demystify it, shall we? 

First: the question I always get from people who aren't Catholic: 

Can the priest ever tell anyone what you said? 

Answer: 

NO. 

Huge, big, fat, NO. Never ever ever ever--at least, not if he wants to keep being a priest. Violating the seal of the confessional means BIG TROUBLE. 

So, no. 

Don't worry about that. He can't tell. Ever. Not even if you said you killed someone and the police are currently doing a 50 state-wide hunt for you. 

So, that's out of the way. Let's talk about what the sacrament is and what it does and all that stuff. 

Confession is basically what it sounds like--you confess your sins. The priest is acting in persona Christi--in the person of Christ--at that moment. You're not actually confessing to a priest in a sense that you're telling another fallible human what you've done wrong. You're confessing to God and the priest is the human mediator, as it were.

Now--why confess to him when we can talk directly to God? Why do you Catholics make things so complicated?!

Because God knows us. 

God knows what there's a big difference between telling God you're sorry for something--and actually hearing someone say "Your sins are forgiven." Confessing to another person requires guts. It really does. You're going in and admitting all the things that you've done wrong, all those mistakes you've made. You are vocalizing all these things to another person, and you know that person is right there, listening to what you're saying. 

That's humbling. 

It's very easy, in the Penitential Rite of the Mass, to sort of skim over the prayer. 

"Oh my God, I am sorry for my sins....did I turn off the coffeemaker? ....through my fault, through my fault....what is the woman in front of me WEARING?......I ask blessed Mary eve-virgin.....I'm really hungry right now."

See what I mean? Sure, you're saying that you mess up and you're sinful and blah blah. But it's not really personal

Confession is entirely personal. It's your list of sins, your mess-ups. It's all the ways that I, personally, have offended God. 

So before you actually get in the confessional (Or "reconciliation room", or whatever parishes call it these days), you have to do some prep work. You have to do....an examination of conscience. 

The examination allows you to do a deep-cleaning, as it were, and see where you've sinned. There are things you might not even have thought were sins, that are. But there are also a  lot of things that people think are sins, that aren't. Feelings, for example, aren't sins. They're not willed actions. If a guy cuts me off in traffic and my immediate, unwilled reaction is anger, that's OK. The problem would be if I made my anger CLEAR to said driver. (You know what I mean.) Does that make sense? So you don't need to go in and tell the poor priest every single thought you've ever had. 

Catholics believe in two types of sins: venial and mortal. Venial sins wound your relationship with God; mortal sin kills it. Basically, if you die with mortal sin on your soul and un-repented, then you're in Big Trouble. (Meaning, you did something Bad, and you're not sorry you did it.) Only Mortal sins need to be confessed. You can't receive communion in a state of mortal sin. So when you have mortal sins, you need to confess them in kind (as in, what you did) and number (how many times you did it.). "I committed adultery with my neighbor's wife eight times in the last month."  "I had an abortion." "I stole $5,000 from my company." Etc. 

(brief detour: There are conditions for mortal sin. If you've seen the movie Chocolat, you know what they are, but if you haven't: Grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. Therefore, if someone forces you to have an abortion, it's not a mortal sin for you. If someone rapes you, again, that's not a sin for you. If you're forced to steal the money at gunpoint, same deal. 

Likewise, if you didn't know it was a serious thing--like, missing Mass without good reason--same deal. The Church excuses ignorance to a point.)

So anyway, you've examined your conscience. If you've committed mortal sins, you've written down the number of times and what it was. You're ready to go in. 

My church offers confession every single day. That's right. EVERY DAY! And before all the weekend Masses. If your parish is not quite that.....awesome, check the schedule. Or you can call and make an appointment with a priest. Sometimes you have options--face to face, or behind the screen. Sometimes you don't. 

Here is a guide to confession.  Even more quickly:  you go in, you confess. The priest may ask questions or talk to you a bit, after which he will give you a penance. You always get a penance. You have to do said penance. Then you say your act of contrition, the priest absolves you, and you're done. Voila! 

It is suggested that Catholics confess once a month. It is required that Catholics confess at least once a year, during the Easter season. I know that St. Pope John Paul the Great went to Confession every week. Personally, I try to go once a month.  

The form and matter for confession is as follows: 

Form: The prayer of absolution. 

Matter: the verbal confession of sins. 

And you have to be sorry. That's right. You can't go in and NOT be repentant. That sort of....is nuts. And invalidates the whole thing. You have to be sorry, otherwise, why are you there? 

On NOVEMBER 13, 2013 By PETER JONES In SCRIBBLINGSWORSHIP  LIKE

Peter Jones: C.S. Lewis on Confessing Our Sins

In the quote below C.S. Lewis is commenting on this phrase from the General Confession in the Book of Common Prayer, “But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us miserable offenders.” At my church, we say this confession, but replace “offenders” with “sinners.” The quote is one of the best I have ever read on how to confess our sins and the results of confession. Almost every line, especially of the last paragraph, is worth your careful time.

 

“It is essential [when confessing our sins] to use the plain, simple, old-fashioned words that you would use about anyone else.  I mean words like theft, or fornication, or hatred, instead of  ‘I did not mean to be dishonest’ or ‘I was only a boy then’ or ‘I lost my temper. I think that this steady facing of what one does know and bringing it before God, without excuses, and seriously asking for Forgiveness and Grace, and resolving as far as in one lies to do better, is the only way in which we can ever begin to know the fatal thing which is always there, and preventing us from becoming perfectly just to our wife or husband, or being a better employer or employee.  If this process is gone through, I do not doubt that most of us will come to understand and to share these old words like ‘contrite,’miserable’ and intolerable.’

Does that sound very gloomy? Does Christianity encourage morbid introspection? The alternative is much more morbid. Those who do not think about their own sins make up for it by thinking incessantly about the sins of others.  It is healthier to think of one’s own. It is the reverse of morbid. It is not even, in the long run, very gloomy.  A serious attempt to repent and to really know one’s own sin is in the long run a lightening and relieving process. Of course, there is bound to be a first dismay and often terror and later great pain, yet that is much less in the long run than the anguish of a mass of unrepented and unexamined sins, lurking in the background of our minds. It is the difference between the pain of a tooth about which you should go to the dentist, and the simple straight-forward pain which you know is getting less and less every moment when you have had the tooth out.”

--C.S. Lewis 

 

Some Protestant churches offer the opportunity for confession. It's not seen as a sacrament, I don't think, the way Catholics see it. C.S. Lewis went to confession. I know a Lutheran pastor who offers it to his parishioners. 

Confession is good for the soul, if not for the ego. And that's the way it's supposed to be. 

 

 

 

 

For Sage

essaysEmily DeArdo3 Comments

I lost a friend yesterday. 

Sage was waiting for a double lung transplant. Like me, she had CF, and like me, she was 34. She had a wonderful husband and three hilarious dogs. We talked almost every day, about Outlander and Pocket Jamie and Mascara brands and even eyelash curlers, and what I should wear on a first date. (And then, helping when the date didn't call back.....) 

She was such a funny person, sometimes sarcastically so, and we had the same sense of humor. She was the only person who really understood CF life, so we could bitch to each other about Stupid Doctor Things. (And stupid other things.....) She loved the color purple. She worked for the U.S. Senate and so we could talk about Crazy Things Constituents Did. She adored scary movies, which terrify me, but she loved them. She would watch them with her nephew. She was a huge Bachelor/ Bachelorette fan. She had fantastically curly hair that she dyed auburn; her niece Lizzie had the same corkscrew curls. I was jealous of her hair.

She would've liked this--purple confetti. 

She would've liked this--purple confetti. 

(And GOSH I hate using the past tense.)  

She lived in Oklahoma and Wisconsin, so we'd never met in person. A mutual friend introduced us over the interwebs, so this is one case where a Facebook friendship became as real as any of my "IRL" ones. 

She was admitted to the hospital last week; her last text message to me told me she was doing a direct admit from the ER. I sent her texts and messages variously; I knew she was in the ICU so I knew she probably wasn't reading her messages, but I hoped Jerry (her husband) would tell her.  I didn't want to bombard her phone with notification noises, but I felt like I needed to let her know I was thinking about her. 

Yesterday I felt this keen desire to send her a message: like, do it NOW, Emily. So I did. I told her that I was thinking about her and I missed her and I loved her. It was a little sappy for me. But you know. I thought she'd know what I meant. 

And then, a few hours later, she died. 

Right before she died, I bought a new eyelash curler. We had talked about this a few weeks ago--which ones were the best. She was a Girly Girl and I knew she'd have opinions. So I bought the one she suggested, and it was purple, to boot. I thought, Sage would love that I just bought this. I wanted to send her a picture of it. 

I wish we would've gotten to meet in person. I wish I'd have met her husband and her Awesome Dogs George, Piper, and Sadie. I wish we could've played Monopoly together. 

Guys, CF sucks. It really does. And so does people dying while they wait for organs. She was such a light. And now she's gone. 

Rest in peace, dear heart. I'll see you when I get there. 

"Grief is the price we pay for love." --Queen Elizabeth II

(A note about this video: Sage and I were connected through music. She was a friend of Emily, who was the twin of one of my best friends, Amilia. Amilia and I were in All-State choir our senior year of high school, and this was one of the pieces on our program. It was written in honor of a young lady who died too soon. So not only is it appropriate for Sage, but it's appropriate because music is how I met Amilia and Emily, and thus, Sage.

It is also one of the most beautiful and most moving pieces of music ever written.) 

Disclaimer: I don't own this!

 

 

Hospital Hair Salons, Part II: Troubleshooting Superbugs!

healthEmily DeArdo1 Comment

You may recall last week's post about Hospital Hair Salons. I got a lot of positive feedback on Facebook and in the comments here about this, so I think it's safe to say that this is an idea whose time has come!

That being said, it's also an idea that requires a wee bit of troubleshooting. Even if it's a great idea (which we all think it is!), there are things that need to be worked out in order for it to be really feasible in a hospital setting.

One of the things we need to consider is the ever present threat of germs. If you're in the hospital, you're....sick. So we have to make sure that people who are sick don't get other people sick, and that people with similar illnesses are separated from each other, if needed (i.e., CF patients. We're not allowed to be within six feet of each other. I'm not kidding. I'm not sure how this works in homes where there is more than one person with CF, but....) 

So, inspired by Piper, I began to dig around on the Internet and found....

portable shampoo bowls!!

Is this not awesome? Adjustable height, so everyone can use it! You have to supply your own water source, but just about every hospital room has a sink, so there you go. Fill up a bucket for the water, drains into the sink. Bazinga! The bowl is tilt-able, so you can use just about any chair with it. Grab one from the nurse's station, or even the ones that are in the room, and there you go (My hospital has chairs that recline in the rooms. I realize this might not be the case in every hospital.). 

This model is $300, but on Amazon, it's $74. That's right. SEVENTY FOUR DOLLARS. 

Add a spray so you can wet and rinse the hair--$5 more. 

Another option: This guy, which is for people in wheelchairs or with limited mobility. I'm not sure if this would be my first choice, but hey, this would work for those in wheelchairs and it's better than nothing. 

To protect the patient and keep water from getting on those areas that can't get wet, add a salon cape: $9.18

So, for the bowl, the sprayer, the cape--$88.18. That's for one "set". Two of them? Less than $180. 

With the portable set up, you eliminate worries about infection spreading among patient populations. Someone can go into the patient's room and wash the hair--or even a parent or friend can do it, if one's available. I wouldn't want my brother to wash my hair NOW, but with a setup like this? I could totally teach him how to wash girl hair. :) Patient privacy is preserved, and everything you need is right there, able to be brought into the room and easily connected. (I'm hoping it's easy. If it's not, then we'd need another system. But it looks pretty simple.)

A patient could request this the same way she requests the Nintendo cart (yes, my hospital used to have a Nintendo cart), or a massage therapist, or the child life people, or whatever. You just ask the nurse to call for it, and someone brings it up.  Easy peasy. 

The hospital doesn't have to build a room or install any equipment, like with the previous idea. This is totally portable, easy to take apart and sterilize, when necessary, and can go anywhere. 

What do you guys think? 

 

 

 

 

Friendship and Guinness Cake

food stories, recipesEmily DeArdo1 Comment

I've always loved to bake, even when I was a little kid and I didn't quite grasp that if you bake, you must clean up. And I've made a lot of cakes in my life, including a three layer Peanut Butter monstrosity for a friend's Christmas party one year. 

But this cake....this is really the only cake I make anymore. 

This is a Guinness Cake. Do you see the resemblance to a pint of Guinness with the foamy head? (No?) And this cake is really the only cake recipe you ever need. 

I have made this cake for parties, birthdays, dessert after a dinner party--you name it, this cake has been there. It's a cake that men adore, probably because it's not too sweet. This is a damp, rich cake that is also good for breakfast. (No judgment, right?) 

I almost never make it unless it's for a friend get-together, so when I make it, it brings back a lot of good memories. Try it, and make some memories of your own. 

But once you start making it, you'll never be able to stop making it. People will ask for it forever. It's a hard-knock life. But this cake is worth it.

Guinness Cake

from Nigella Lawson's Feast 

Notes: Before you start, make sure the butter, eggs, and cream cheese (for the frosting) are room temperature. You will have a much better cake! * I set the pot over medium heat--the recipe doesn't specify a temperature, but medium's always worked for me. * I usually bake the cake the day before the party, and then frost it the day of. The cake is so damp that it will hold very well. 

Ingredients

1 c. Guinness (I use extra stout) 

1 stick + 2 tbsp. unsalted butter

3/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

2 c. sugar

3/4 c. sour cream 

2 eggs

1 tbsp. pure vanilla extract

2 c. all-purpose flour

2 1/2 tsp. baking soda

For the icing: (optional)

8 oz. cream cheese

1 1/4 c. confectioner's sugar (powdered sugar)

1/2 c. heavy cream

Preheat the oven to 350. Butter and line a 9" springform pan with parchment paper. 

Pour the Guinness into a large wide saucepan (I use my Dutch oven, actually), add the butter in slices, and heat until butter's melted. Whisk in cocoa and sugar. In a separate bowl, beat the sour cream, eggs, and vanilla together and then add them to the beer mixture. Finally, whisk in flour and baking soda. Whisk until well-combined.

Pour the cake batter into the pan and bake for 45 minutes to an hour. Leave to cool completely in the pan on a cooling rack. It's a very damp cake. 

When it's completely cool, make the frosting. Lightly whip the cream cheese until smooth, sift over the confectioner's sugar, and then beat together. Add the cream and beat again until it makes a spreadable consistency. Ice the cake. (This makes a lot of frosting. You want to frost this cake thickly, so try to use all of it, if possible.) 

 

 

Catholic 101: Confirmation

Catholic 101Emily DeArdoComment

Confirmation is a hard sacrament to explain. 

It's NOT a coming of age thing--although most people think it is. 

It can be given at a variety of ages; in some places, it's given before First Holy Communion; in some places, it's not given until sixteen years of age. Parishes within the same diocese vary greatly: at my current parish, it's given in sixth grade; at my parochial school, it was eighth grade; at the parish in my parents' town, it's 10th grade. 

What is going on?! 

Let's try to get down to basics. 

In Confirmation, the confirmand (person to be confirmed) receives the gifts of the Holy Spirit. 

We've talked about form and matter previously. So here, the form is the bishop (or designated priest, if the bishop can't perform the sacrament for some reason) saying, "be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit." The matter is the holy chrism (Which is also used in baptism), which is placed on the confirmand's forehead in the sign of the cross. 

The Scriptural basis for Confirmation is from the Acts of the Apostles: 

Now when the apostles, who were in Jerusalem, had heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John. Who, when they were come down, prayed for them, that they might receive the Holy Ghost.For he was not as yet come upon any of them; but they were only baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then they laid their hands upon them, and they received the Holy Ghost.-- Acts, 8:14-17. 

In Confirmation, the Confirmand also received the gifts of the Holy Spirit. There are seven of them. Confirmation gives the confirmand strength to live out their Christian vocation and their specific calling. 

The confirmand also chooses a patron saint. The Church asks that a baby be baptized with the name of at least one saint (my name is two--there's a St. Emily, and Michele is the feminine form of Michael--St. Michael the Archangel.). However....that doesn't always happen. In Confirmation, the confirmand selects a saint that is meaningful to them. I chose St. Therese of Lisieux. 

Confirmation completes the sacraments of initiation. At this point, you are an "adult" in the sense that you are fully "initiated" into the church, having had all three sacraments of initiation (Baptism, Communion, and Confirmation). 

 

 

Seven Quick Takes No. 122

7 Quick Takes, food, books, writingEmily DeArdo2 Comments

I. 

Happy Friday, everybody!!!!

Here's what I wrote about this week, ICYMI: 

Hospital Hair Salons (With a follow up next week!) 

Catholic 101: The Eucharist

II. 

We FINALLY had rain! Lots and lots of rain! My plant doesn't look like it's going to die now! Yay!!!!! (Even when you water a plant copiously, when it's 90+ degrees for many days in a row, the plant will look very sad.) Just in time for school starting, the weather has become less hot and more normal--70s and low 80s. I can handle this. In fact, this is sort of my perfect type of weather. I am ready for my sweaters!  

III. 

This was this week's Kitchen Adventure: 

This is the Guinness Cake. The Cake of My Heart. And next week, it'll get its own Food Stories post!  (It's been awhile since I've done one of those!) 

IV. 

I'm falling down on the reading this month, but I do have the new Mother Teresa book, A Call To Mercy on my iPad, as well as Shauna Niequist's Present Over Perfect.

V. 

In my own writing: I'm working on some submissions and still editing the memoir. Always, right? And NaNoWriMo 2016 is over the horizon, so I need to come up with a novel idea to write this year!

VI. 

After a long hiatus, I'm back to the knitting, because my new yarn bowl arrived. So back to those knits and purls. I'm using up some odds and ends of yarn so this is definitely a project for me, and not a gift. And I need to start thinking about Christmas gifts too, yikes! And birthday gifts for my fall people!

VII. 

Has school started where you are? I remember when it started at the end of August. The beginning/middle of August feels so odd for school start dates. Course they also get out a lot earlier than I did, too.But starting on August 16 (when a lot of schools here started) seems wayyyy too early for me. 

 

 

 

Hospital hair salons: An idea to support mental and physical health

healthEmily DeArdo10 Comments

I know that, when someone says, "You know what hospitals need?" your first answer probably isn't "a hair salon!" 

And, OK, it's probably not the most pressing need in hospitals. I know that. I'm very fortunate to live where I live and have access to world-class hospitals that are fully stocked with vital equipment, supplies, drugs, and staff. I don't have to worry that the hospitals don't have an X-ray machine, or lack sterile needles. 

But more and more, hospitals are focusing on providing not just the basics of health care, but providing a more holistic approach to care. The hospital I'm at most frequently has a massage therapy department, child life specialists, play groups for all ages, teachers who tutor students, and evening entertainment is often scheduled. Even in adult hospitals, there's a focus on providing creature comforts, like lots of TV channels, increasing the quality of the food served to patients, and improving rooms so that patients have more privacy and comfort. 

I think having a hair salon-like area would fit right into this scheme at many hospitals. 

Think about a regular week for you. How often do you shower/wash your hair? And if you're like me, you don't just take baths for utilitarian reasons. You take them to relax, unwind, or just enjoy the hot water and bubbles. 

When you're in the hospital for a long time (as in, more than three days), basic things become a lot of work. Things like being clean, that people in the real world take for granted. Seriously, when was the last time you got in the shower or the bath and thought about how you would be able to wash yourself if you had medical equipment and IVs attached to you? How could you wash your hair if you couldn't get one of your arms wet (Or either of them)? Or what if you couldn't get into a tub or shower at all, because you have chest tubes coming out of you, or you were getting constant IV infusions? (We won't even talk about things like shaving your legs. That's just well-nigh impossible.) 

I have, in the course of 34 years, been subjected to every kind of hospital hair washing arrangement that can exist. Let me count the ways:

1)  The communal bathroom: where the floor has one bathtub, which you have to watch like a hawk to get. Then you lock yourself in--with a parent, or someone to help you, because you can't wash your hair yourself. Mom would wrap Saran wrap around the parts that couldn't get wet, try to tape it up with medical tape (I say "try" because the tape wasn't really designed to be sticky in the humid conditions of a bathroom), and then wash my hair while I tried to keep the improvised "dressing" from getting wet. The benefit to this was that at least I could wash my body.

2) The "bed basin" method: you stay in bed, and a small, inflatable basin (it basically looks like a kiddy pool for Barbie dolls) is put under your head. Then you can get your hair washed, you don't have to move, and everything stays dry. The problem is, you didn't wash anything but your hair, and if your hair is long, combing it out after this method is a disaster. It's also hard to get all the shampoo out, because you're working with a small pool of water. So you don't get really clean hair. Meaning, you have to do it again, soon. Boo hiss. 

3) The lean over the sink method, forwardterrible. Same issues as above, water gets everywhere, it's a general mess, and if you have anything on your chest (like, say, my port), you are frantically trying to keep it dry. Not good. 

4) The shampoo "cap": It works in a pinch. But generally your hair looks and feels awful after this has been used. It looks like a shower cap with shampoo "built in". You add water and there you go. Not good. The much better option is dry shampoo (which is a godsend, let me tell you.). 

5) The lean over the sink method, backwards: At least you don't have water in your face with this method, or running all down your front. However, it's rather painful if you have anything attached to you--and the sinks aren't usually at a good level. I remember being put on a tall chair from the nurse's station (on wheels!), then titled back. Water, water everywhere. 

6) The "Shower seat" method: This involves taping yourself down, again, so that what's supposed to stay dry, stays dry, and you basically make a mess of the bathroom. You sit on the shower seat, while you use a hand held shower head to wash your hair. It's not the best method. (Mostly because you have ZERO privacy. At all.) 

You can see, all these methods are sort of terrible. They are difficult, they are messy, they take a lot of time, and they are not mentally or physically beneficial. I loathe washing my hair when I'm in the hospital. It takes--not kidding--about an hour, to gather all the materials, to tape myself up, and then try to do it with minimal issues for the staff, because they have enough to do without making sure I have enough towels. And we won't even talk about the hair dryers that you're given. (My hospital doesn't like you to bring in your own hair dryer. Strange, but true.)  

Some fantastic nurses try to work a hair washing into the day, coming in when they have down time. And I appreciate this. But, again, there's usually not a lot of privacy. I know, I know--nurses have seen everything. But I'd like some mystery left in our relationships, here! 

I want you to image with me for a second. Imagine you are sick. You feel like crap. It takes a huge amount of effort to do anything, including go to the bathroom. You know you should take a shower, but it takes a ton of effort. You know your hair looks awful, but you can't wash it on your own. So on top of feeling like crap, you also look like crap, and this makes you feel worse

What we need are hospital hair salons.

They do not have to be fancy. They could be one or two salon-style sinks and chairs, where patients could lean back--and not worry about hurting themselves or the equipment--and have their hair washed well, with clean water, in a sink that is appropriately deep. So the shampoo isn't getting the hair dirty again, and you're not using dirty water, and everything that needs to stay dry is staying dry! The body isn't in a weird position--it's supported by the chair. A towel cushions the sink neck rest, just like at a salon, so water is absorbed and not running down the back of the chair or the patient.  

You need to have someone who can wash the hair, comb it, dry it--with a good hair dryer, not one from 1970. That's it. No styling involved (unless, you know, someone really wants an updo for that meeting with the surgeon in the morning). Just clean, combed, and dried hair that will last longer and look better than anything heretofore seen. For the rest of the body, the patient can get into a tub and get clean, without worrying about hair or getting things wet. (In my hospital, each room now has a rather shallow tub. It's not meant for bubble baths, but you can get in and out very easily, and you can keep things that are on your chest or arms dry. It's revolutionary, I tell you.) 

You wouldn't need professional hair stylists, just anyone who knows how to give a good shampoo and can work a hair dryer. Instead of it taking an hour, it could take 15 minutes. Nurses wouldn't have to wash patients' hair anymore (with the exception of very sick patients who couldn't be moved). Parents wouldn't have to do it. I always feel so much better after a bath, and having clean hair is a great thing. I hate the feeling of dirty hair. (And really, how hygienic can that be?)  

A very quick internet search reveals that a shampoo chair costs range widely, but you can get one for under $200.  A porcelain shampoo bowl costs around $300 (plastic knocks the price down about $100.) Hair products (shampoo and conditioner) wouldn't have to be expensive--you could even use the hospital stuff, or whatever the patient brings with them (yes, I bring my own shampoo to the hospital.) A decent blow dryer? $50 or so.  So let's say $600 per setup, to give us a cushion. $1200 for two. (Materials that can be sterilized/wiped down between patients, to keep things appropriately clean, are tantamount, so that might force a certain material over another.) Obviously you'd have to have plumbing arranged appropriately, and a space that's dedicated to this. But when you think about how hospitals have showers in the ICU for parents/family members to use, it's not too crazy. 

$600 is not chump change. But the benefits to patients, families, and staff would be incredible. I've been in the hospital for a month at a time.  There are people who spend months in the hospital. How would you feel if you weren't really able to wash your hair--or have someone else do it properly--for months? You'd feel pretty gross after awhile. I guarantee you. Dry shampoo only does so much. Sink baths are cute for babies, but not for anyone else. 

When I floated this on Facebook, I got a huge responses from women who have been in the hospital and understood this. But it wasn't just patients--it was parents, too, who have boys and girls who spend lots of time in the hospital, and thought this would be a good idea. I was actually surprised by the amount of people who liked this idea.

So the question then is--how would we actually get these in a hospital? What are the logistical issues that would keep a hospital from having a set-up like this? 

This isn't just for kids. It's for anyone who's in the hospital for a long time. You want to feel human, even when you're sick. A hospital hair salon (or blowout bar, I guess this is) would do a lot to increase patient well-being, both mentally and physically. 

Can we make this happen? 

 

 

 

Catholic 101: The Eucharist

Catholic 101, CatholicismEmily DeArdoComment

OK, everyone. Buckle up. 

I mean it. 

I love the Eucharist. I could write a whole tome on it, here. I realize the Eucharist is one of the more misunderstood Catholic doctrines. So we're talking about first communion, but we're also going to talk about the Eucharist more generally. OK? 

 

OK, so first off, what is the Eucharist?

Catholics believe that the Eucharist is the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus ChristIt's not a symbol. After the bread and wine have been consecrated by the priest, it IS Jesus Christ, here, present, fully, in the host. 

As Flannery O'Connor said: 

We take Jesus at His word when he said "this is my body." We take John 6 seriously. 

If it's just a symbol, then, so what? Why do it? Why have it? 

But to us, it's not a symbol. It is JESUS CHRIST. That's why we have Eucharistic adoration, why we reserve the sacrament in the tabernacle, and why we treat it (or should treat it!) with reverence. It's why we genuflect when we go into the pews--because Jesus Christ is actually present in our churches, in the Eucharist. 

Since we treat the Eucharist so reverently, not just anyone can receive it. That's why First Communion is such an important sacrament to Catholics--it's the day when you can receive Jesus in Communion for the first time. This is huge! 

For Catholics, you have to be at the "age of reason", which is seven years old. You have to be able to understand Who you are receiving. That doesn't mean that you have to understand the Ins and Outs of Transubstantiation, but you do have to know it's not just bread the priest is giving you. 

In some places, First Confession precedes first communion. But for our purposes, we'll talk about that later. 

I always told my CCD kids that I never, ever wanted to see them go up to communion sloppily. The number of people I've seen just shuffling up to communion, like they're going to receive a hot dog at a baseball game! NOOOOOO! STOP IT! You should be totally aware to what you're doing and Who you are about to receive. 

Going back to our discussion of matter and form: The matter is the unleavened bread and wine. No, you cannot use grape juice, or Pepsi, or water. It must be wine. And no, you can't use bread from Kroger, or Doritos, or pita bread, or crackers. It must be unleavened bread. I was absolutely shocked the first time I went to a Protestant service (it was orientation at college--I couldn't get to Mass, but then did offer Catholic communion from an extraordinary minister of communion). The pastor got out a loaf of Kroger bread, and Kroger grape juice. 

You don't have to receive both species (that's what it's technically called--the species). At my parish, we never offer the wine to the communicants. It's only ever the Host. But that's OK. 

The form is the words of consecration, said by the priest, as part of the Eucharistic Prayer: 

Take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is my Body, which will be given up for you.
Take this, all of you, and drink from it, for this is the chalice of my Blood, the blood of the new and eternal covenant, which will be poured out for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins. Do this in memory of me.  

After the priest--and ONLY the priest--says the words of consecration, the bread and the wine have BECOME the Body and Blood of Christ. 

Since the Church believes that when we receive communion, we are taking Jesus into our very selves, there are a few rules: 

  1. You should have fasted for one hour before receiving (water and medicine don't count. And if you have to take food with the medicine, you can.)  
  2. You must not receive if you are in a state of mortal sin. If you are in a state of mortal sin and you receive communion, then you're committing sacrilege, on top of already being in a state of mortal sin. You're just making things worse! (This is one reason that my parish offers confession before every Mass.) 

***

Now, many of my Protestant friends have expressed disdain that they cannot receive communion at a Catholic Mass. A few points on that: 

  1. You could receive, if you really wanted to. There's not a Secret Catholic handshake before you receive. However: 
  2. You don't believe what you believe about it, so why would you say you do? That's what the "amen" after "The Body of Christ" means. Why would you do something that's basically a lie? Bad form!
  3. Communion isn't like a hand stamp that indicates you participated at Mass. Plenty of people go to Mass and do not receive communion (all the kids under 7, for example). You can participate fully in the Mass without receiving. I know, your head is spinning here, but it's possible! Receiving communion isn't like getting a heavenly check mark. "OK, Mr. Jones is here....." It is perfectly permissible to attend Mass and not receive Communion. In fact, if you're not properly disposed to receive, it's the better option! 

Here are the USCCB's guidelines for receiving communion. 

***

Like I said above, I love the Eucharist. I get very upset when I see people not treating the sacrament with the reverence it deserves. That means churches where the tabernacle is basically in another room, away from the sanctuary; where people just go up to receive like, la-di-dah; etc. 

Catholics! You are receiving God! Jesus is physically present in every Catholic church. If that doesn't fill you with awe, you need your awe-meter checked. 

As JRR Tolkien said: 

Catholics, please remember what a supreme gift we have in the Eucharist. Treat it accordingly! 

 

 

Seven Quick Takes No. 121

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment

I. 

Ohio weather is extreme. 

In the winter, we can plunge to Hoth-like levels of cold, when everyone wishes they had a Tauntaun to stay warm inside, and hibernation in the order of the day. 

In the summer, hibernation can ALSO be the order of the day--because it's SO DARN HOT. 

We don't quite hit Houston levels of heat (100+ for the temperature), but we've been in the upper 80s for a week now, and I'm about done. With my skin, I generally hibernate whenever it's super sunny (and almost always from noon-two), but when it's super sunny, AND hot AND humid? No. 

I would pay a lot of money for a decent rain storm right now. 

I love summer more than winter--I'd rather have this heat than freezing cold. So I'm trying to embrace it and remember that this will be something I want when I can't even take the trash out without putting on boots and scarves and hats and gloves and my Puffy Coat. 

II. 

Did you know there was a right way to put bobby pins in your hair? I didn't. But apparently you're supposed to put the crinkly side down, not up. Whoops. 

I'm such a hair fail. Fortunately my friend Andrea showed me this website, and now I'm going to try to become less hair impaired.  This style, especially, looks like it will be good for when the weather makes me want to shave my head. 

III.

School officially starts around these parts next week. In other parts of the state, it started today. I can't believe how early school starts now, but I have to say, when I was in school, I was "done" with summer by now. I wanted to be back to a routine. Routine is my friend, even as an adult. I do like some spontaneity, but generally, if I don't have a routine, I end up sitting at home in my pajamas mindlessly watching Fraggle Rock, and that's no good (as much as I love Wembley and Red). 

I've finally disciplined myself enough to have the start of a good morning routine: get up, start the coffee, say Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours and read my daily devotionals, get coffee, have breakfast. It's finally reached a point where this is just what I do--it's become a habit. Thank goodness. 

IV. 

Habits experts tell us that routine is a great thing, because it saves us from having to make decisions and use willpower. If we know we're going to get up and do X, Y, Z right away, then bang, it's done. You don't need to think about it. It's become like brushing your teeth or getting dressed. You just do it. 

The next step is when to work in my workout. I've found that doing it before lunch is actually a really good spot for me, but it's not automatic yet. I'm working on getting it to that point, whether I actually leave the house for barre class, or do a workout video at home, or whatever. 

V. 

Italian is a strange language. Verbs can be nouns. Nouns can be verbs. You can completely leave the subject out. But I'm on track to be 50% fluent by the end of the year, which is one of my Powersheets goals, so I keep practicing. I love the Duolingo app.  

VI. 

I will OFFICIALLY be a Children's Hospital volunteer really soon, which is exciting. After spending so much of my life there, it's nice to give back a bit to other patients and families. And it gives me an excuse to find a cool lanyard for my volunteer badge. 

VII. 

If you've read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, what did you think of it? Spill in the comments. 

Summer Scribbles: Journal keeping

essays, writingEmily DeArdoComment

Today's SITS girls prompt: 

Do you keep a journal? 

I sure do. 

I have since I was 12 years old, actually, and my Aunt Patty sent me a Hallmark diary for my birthday. It's one of those that had the little combination lock that after about 20 uses just popped open without the combination, so it wasn't the world's best security measure, but my siblings knew better than to try to sneak my journal (although I didn't really try to hide it. It was always on my nightstand.) 

Since then, I've always kept one. Sometimes I write with more fervor than others, but I've always had one with me, and I save them all. In my house there are two big bins full of my journals. My currrent one is a red Moleskine I got at the Strand in NYC a few years ago. I generally buy journals when I'm on vacation and then they get used a few years later; when I was in California I bought a Bouchon Moleskine notebook. I've also got a notebook my parents brought me back from Disney World when they went back in 2011. People also gift me journals at an alarming rate, but I don't mind this. 

My blog isn't my journal, and my journal isn't my blog. This is something I think people can easily get confused, especially younger bloggers. What I write on this blog is obviously public. What I write in my journal is intensely private. Sometimes I'll use what I've written in my journals as a springboard for public writing, but this space is not where I pour out my soul. That's what a journal is for.  

Blog is different from journal, journal is different from blog. Important distinction, at least in my world. As much as I love my readers, there are some things that I'm just not going to share with the interwebs. 

 

Catholic 101: Baptism

Catholic 101Emily DeArdoComment

So, we're starting with the first sacrament, the foundational sacrament: Baptism. 

In the Catholic church, we tend to baptism babies. Of course some people are baptized as older children or even as adults, but baptism usually occurs when a baby is under a year old. It used to happen the day after birth, way back in the day--now it's usually a few months later. 

We baptize babies for a few reasons: partially because Jesus said "Let the little children come to me", and also, to remove the stain of original sin. 

Everyone is born with original sin--the sin of Adam and Eve. Baptism removes the sin, grants grace, and makes the person an "official" member of the Church. Once you're baptized, you can't be unbaptized. It's a permanent character that's embedded in your soul. Even if you never go into a church again, even if you decide you don't believe in God--once you're baptized, you're baptized forever. 

Each sacrament has what's called matter and form. The matter is, to be blunt, the "stuff" involved. Here, it's water. You must have water. The form is what's said. "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

If you don't have both matter and form, then it's not a valid sacrament. 

In an emergency, anyone can baptize, but usually, a deacon or a priest does it. An by emergency, they mean emergency. As in, premature baby born, in the NICU, etc. 

Baptism begins a person's Christian life; thus, it's the first sacrament. 

 

 

Seven Quick Takes No. 120: Let's talk about Harry

7 Quick Takes, booksEmily DeArdo5 Comments

I. 

Before we get into Harry Mania, here's this week's posts: 

Summer Reading: July

Let's Communicate

II. 

(Obviously: If you haven't read the HP books or watched the movies, there are tons and tons and tons of spoilers ahead.) 

Like a lot of other people, I picked up the "eighth" Harry Potter book on Sunday, the 31st--which is also Harry Potter's birthday. 

As you can see, it's a play--a two part play, actually--published here as a script. The "rehearsal addition" means that it's the script the cast was using in rehearsals, based on a story by Rowling. The final script will be published later. The show opened on the 30th, and up until a show opens, changes can be made (and usually are) in previews. 

(That doesn't mean that no changes are made once it's officially open, it just is pretty unlikely.) 

The story opens nineteen years later, with Harry as the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, Ron running the Weasley joke shop, and Hermione as Minister for Magic. Harry also has three children (mentioned in the Epilogue of Deathly Hallows)--James, Albus, and Lily. Albus and Harry have a...rocky relationship. And there are problems at work. 

I won't much more because I don't want to give anything away. But the script works well, both as a script (Ginny has a fantastic monologue in Part II that I would love to use in an audition), and as the next chapter in the Harry Potter universe.

III.

So, obviously, after I read the play (And I HAD to read the female parts out loud, come on!), I decided I had to go back to the movies and the books. 

Right now I'm re-watching the movies, and it's really clear that Chamber of Secrets is my least-favorite. It's so long, and so unwiedly. So many important things are introduced in it, but yet, it is a movie I usually skip. 

This is the movie where we get Dobby, Ginny arriving at Hogwarts, a HORCRUX!....and the movie is just so SLOW. 

I also don't really like the book, because I don't think it "fits" in the rest of the series. 

IV. 

I also have a beef about the diary as Horcrux. Does it feel like a sort of half-done thing to anyone else? The other horcruxes are crazy well protected, important items--and the diary is just given to the Malfoys! Who would give the Malfoys anything important?!?! 

And the whole "Riddle as memory"....that seems odd. The whole mechanics of the diary seem not well done. I sense authorial inattention. 

V. 

There are two movies that I dislike--Goblet of Fire and Chamber of Secrets. GOF because the book is just so rich, and so much is cut out in the movie. I know it probably had to happen, and I don't really mind missing SPEW, but I do miss all the other neat things, especially "after", when Dumbledore and Fudge are talking in the office, etc. "The Parting of the Ways" is one of my favorite chapters in the series.  
But I like Order of the Phoenix much better than the book. In the book it's all Harry yelling and being....teenagery. That's not interesting. I do like the bits on Occlumency, the Order, and St. Mungo's, but the series drags for me here. The movie is streamlined and focuses on the big points, which I enjoy. 

VI. 

Book seven--and movie eight (DH part II)--make me cry. I cannot read or watch with anyone else around, because it's ugly crying. Like, sobbing. As soon as Harry goes into Snape's memories in the pensieve, I am gone. 

 

I mean, just that picture. Holy cow. 

VII. 

Also, I am still mad at Lupin died. I LOVE Lupin. I would've married Lupin. He's my favorite teacher and he just DIESSSSSSS. 

Molly Weasley is also the Bomb. 

Share your thoughts on HP--really, anything HP related--in the comments. :) We'll have a Harry Potter party! 

 

Summer Scribbles: Let's Communicate

essays, writingEmily DeArdoComment

Continuing with the SITS Girls' prompts, this week's is: 

Do you communicate differently online than in person? 

Short answer: Nope. 

Long answer: Still nope, but with qualifiers. 

I try to write the way I talk. I want my pieces to have a sort of conversational air about them, like I was talking to you, instead of you reading words I've written. Some of my friends have told me that I've accomplished that, so that makes me happy, because it's one of my main goals. I don't think you need a stilted writing style to get a point across. I want to sound approachable and like myself. 

Now, when I'm communicating on things like Facebook, or comments sections of articles, I try to be a bit more circumspect, realizing that things like sarcasm don't exactly transfer. So I try to be nicer, in a way, than I am in person. Not that I'm mean! But writing WHATTTTT?!?!? on a Facebook page doesn't really convey the same thing that it would in my voice, with facial expressions, etc. So I can't do that all the time. I try to keep it cleaner for the sarcasm-impaired. 

But my hope is always that when you read my pieces, it's like we're having a conversation, and that my authentic voice comes through. 

 

 

Summer Reading: July

booksEmily DeArdoComment

 What I read in July: 

  • The Twenty-Four Days Before Christmas, by Madeline L'Engle. This very short story is part of the Austin series L'Engle wrote, which includes A Ring of Endless Light and Troubling a Star. (Ring is one of my favorite books ever). In this piece, seven year old Vicky has been selected to be the angel in the Christmas pageant, and her family is also awaiting the birth of their new baby. You don't have to have read the other books in the series to like this one, and it would be a great read-aloud for families with small kids. 
     
  • The Queen of the Big Time, by Adrianna Trigiani. This has been out for awhile, but I've only just read it. I like most of Trigiani's books, which are based in the Italian-American communities of America. She writes well, and she writes about what she knows. Her books usually feature some sort of conflict between family/tradition/duty and the main character's desire to live her own life. This one is no exception.

    In this novel, Nella Cestelluca wants more for her life than just working on her family's farm--she wants to go to college and become a teacher. She's also fallen in love with the most handsome man in town. But of course, things don't go exactly the way Nella thought they would. 

    I liked a lot of the book, but I thought that Nella was a bit one-dimensional. I wanted more about her, her relationships, and her thought process. Instead, the book jumps around a lot in time, and we only get brief pieces of Nella's relationship with her husband and her children, which can lead to abrupt moments that don't really fit the story. 
     
  • The Fellowship: The Literary Lives of the Inklings, by Philip and Carol Zaleski. If you're a fan of CS Lewis or JRR Tolkien-or both--you'll love this look at the lives of the Inklings. Two of them are not as well know as Lewis or Tolkien ( Owen Barfield and Charles Williams), and you may, like me, be tempted to skim their sections. But the Zaleskis have done an amazing job here, especially in bringing new light to Lewis and Tolkien. 
     
  • The Seven Secrets of Divine Mercy, by Vince Flynn. I picked this up because Jennifer Fulwiler recommended it, and I'm glad I did. Flynn unpacks the popular Divine Mercy devotion and shows us how very rich it is. You don't have to have read St. Faustina's Diary before you've read this, but if you haven't read it, read it after. 
     
  • The Childrens Act, by Ian McEwan. McEwan and I just don't get along. I wish we did. But his writing style is not my cup of tea. That being said, I gave this novel, about a judge who has to decide whether or not to force a Jehovah's Witness teenager to have a blood transfusion, a whirl. 
    The beginning was very good, but the end petered out and made me frustrated. I didn't understand why we needed the whole affair storyline, or the stalker patient. It was just a mess. 
     
  • Forgetting Time, Susan Guskin. Another novel that started well but ended...oddly. In this one, a mother is worried that her son is having delusions--he keeps talking about a life he had before this one, and another family. With the help of a scientist, the mother tries to see if her son's delusions could be possibly be true. Again, worked well in the beginning, but then petered out. 
     
  • The Madwoman Upstairs, Catherine Lowell. I loved this novel, even though I don't love the Brontes. If you've read Possession,by A.S. Byatt, then this is a very similiar book. Here's the publisher's synopsis: 
    Samantha Whipple is used to stirring up speculation wherever she goes. Since her father’s untimely death, she is the presumed heir to a long-rumored trove of diaries, paintings, letters, and early novel drafts passed down from the Brontë family—a hidden fortune never revealed to anyone outside of the family, but endlessly speculated about by Brontë scholars and fanatics. Samantha, however, has never seen this alleged estate and for all she knows, it’s just as fictional as Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights.

    But everything changes when Samantha enrolls at Oxford University and long lost objects from her past begin rematerializing in her life, beginning with an old novel annotated in her father’s handwriting. With the help of a handsome but inscrutable professor, Samantha plunges into a vast literary mystery and an untold family legacy, one that can only be solved by repurposing the tools of literature and decoding the clues hidden within the Brontës’ own novels.

    A very, very enjoyable novel. I gulped it down in one sitting. 

  • Haroun and the Sea of Stories, by Salman Rushdie. This is Rushdie's version of The Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland, and it works amazingly well. Haroun has to save his father, a renowned storyteller who has recently lost the gift of storytelling--with disastrous results. A trip to a strange planet reveals that it's not just his father who is in danger--it's the entire Sea of Stories itself. 
     
  • Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, by JK Rowling, John Tiffany and Jack Thorne. Yes, Harry Potter is back. In case you've been under a rock, this is written as a play, not a story--the show opened in London on July 30th. I like reading plays, so this was easy for me, but if you're not used to it, it may take awhile for you to get in the groove. 

    Anyway, in this edition, Harry is 40, has three children (James, Albus, and Lily--last seen at the very end of Deathly Hallows), is the Head of Magical Law Enforcement--and is having problems with Albus. And his scar is hurting again. Could the problems he's having with his son be connected to the rumors that Voldemort may be returning? 

    It's a well-written story, and it fits in well with the 7 book series. And it's interesting to see how Harry, Ron, Hermione, and some of our other favorites have changes in the ensuing 19 years. I'm not going to say anything else, because, spoilers. But it's well worth reading if you're a Potter fan.